Monday, 7 May 2012

Dealing With Homosexuality : Rajeev Krishnan

Side Effects of Truth Serum

When I came to Mumbai two years ago at the age of seventeen, my idea of homosexuality was only the blurred memory of child molestation I had encountered at the age of twelve, but things had gone a long way since then. I got to meet lots of new people and have some wonderful experiences in the gay world. The past two years gave me some valuable insights into the life style of homosexuals and the popular myths surrounding it.

The most realistic one was the portrayal of gay men as the epitome of artistic excellence. Though many artists are homosexuals, only a few homosexuals are artists, and they are the ones who usually come out of the closet. There is this gay guy in my college who sings, paints, designs, and does most of the art-stuffs, but then again I have this another gay friend whose only art is kissing (oh... I so miss that).

While having a conversation on what movie to watch for a boring Saturday eve, my straight friend had something interesting to say " if you want to watch something really romantic, you might wanna ask Sparsh. He's gay." I was baffled, flattered and confused all at the same time. That's true. Apparently, most of the straight men think that gay men are the most romantic creatures on the planet Earth (maybe, even more than those please-marry-me girls). They think that we walk with a red rose between our teeth. My personal experiences taught me that this wasn't entirely true. Most of the guys I met were either commitment-phobic, NSA-sex lovers, guys whose best pick-up line is "asl?," and guys who could do anything kinky but kiss.

Of all the things that shocked me about homosexuals, the one than pained me the most was the apparent right-on-face hypocrisy. I know many gay guys who are into philosophy, rights movements, PETA supporters, atheists, post-modernist thinkers, skeptics, utopians, and all other blah blahs. But believe me, we are just as prejudice stricken as the straight world is if not more. So, why do I expect gay guys to be more open-minded than their straight counterparts? Well... the very fact that we expect others to open their minds up to accept us puts on us an onus to be open minded about many other things. The renowned author and my idol Arundhati Roy once said that the main problem with the world was to try to simplify what is complicated, and to pick injustices and fight for them. We cannot pick injustices and fight for them. Every issue, every situation is multidimensional and has to be dealt that way only. I had this one gay friend who told me that he hated bi-sexuals and would shoot them if he met any. Bi-sexualophobia is a truth in gay community. Most of the gay guys consider bi-sexuals are experimenters who are in the gay scene just for fun, and that they want to end up only with girls. Well... my take is "let it be." If you don't like it, don't sleep with them, but that doesn't mean you should hate them.

Casteism, racism, regionalism, communalism everything has its fair( or unfair?) share in gay community. We want them to accept us the way we are, but we are reluctant to transcend the barristers of caste, race, national borders, religion that human kind had set up. There was this guy on my friends list whose about-me section on Facebook profile read like a typical matrimonial column in Malayala Manorama: " I'm 23, fair, well-educated, middle-class guy looking for an intelligent, well-educated, Marathi Brahmin of same social stature for a life-long relationship." Ohh yeah... I pity that education which didn't teach you to look beyond class, caste, and region.

The most shocking thing about gay life in India is the way some of us have started to think about homosexuality;that it is an upper middle class, intellectual phenomenon . Many amongst us forget that homosexuality cuts across all barriers, whether that be economic, social, or biological. There's no reason to frown if you see a guy in rugged jeans and old sandals without branded cooling glass at a gay meet, because they too are a part of what makes the gay community. Not all of us roam around in Peppy Jeans shirts, or Gucci cologne, and when it comes to style, some of us can be real snobs.

Now, that's too much negative about us. Nopes... I'm not cynical, and I am gong to prove that. We might not be the "adarsh-bharathiya guys/gals," but we are not afraid to love, and to stand for whom we love. We might not bring "gaay-jaisi bahus" to our homes, but our boy friends are nothing short of a stallion.
We work hard and we party harder. That's why Sam Austin said "
homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
- Rajeev Krishnan

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