Showing posts with label Article Contest : Dealing With Homosexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Article Contest : Dealing With Homosexuality. Show all posts
Monday, 7 May 2012
Dealing With Homosexuality : Rajeev Krishnan
Side Effects of Truth Serum
When I came to Mumbai two years ago at the age of seventeen, my idea of
homosexuality was only the blurred memory of child molestation I had
encountered at the age of twelve, but things had gone a long way since
then. I got to meet lots of new people and have some wonderful
experiences in the gay world. The past two years gave me some valuable
insights into the life style of homosexuals and the popular myths
surrounding it.
The most realistic one was the portrayal of gay
men as the epitome of artistic excellence. Though many artists are
homosexuals, only a few homosexuals are artists, and they are the ones
who usually come out of the closet. There is this gay guy in my college
who sings, paints, designs, and does most of the art-stuffs, but then
again I have this another gay friend whose only art is kissing (oh... I
so miss that).
While having a conversation on what movie to
watch for a boring Saturday eve, my straight friend had something
interesting to say " if you want to watch something really romantic, you
might wanna ask Sparsh. He's gay." I was baffled, flattered and
confused all at the same time. That's true. Apparently, most of the
straight men think that gay men are the most romantic creatures on the
planet Earth (maybe, even more than those please-marry-me girls). They
think that we walk with a red rose between our teeth. My personal
experiences taught me that this wasn't entirely true. Most of the guys I
met were either commitment-phobic, NSA-sex lovers, guys whose best
pick-up line is "asl?," and guys who could do anything kinky but kiss.
Of all the things that shocked me about homosexuals, the one than
pained me the most was the apparent right-on-face hypocrisy. I know many
gay guys who are into philosophy, rights movements, PETA supporters,
atheists, post-modernist thinkers, skeptics, utopians, and all other
blah blahs. But believe me, we are just as prejudice stricken as the
straight world is if not more. So, why do I expect gay guys to be more
open-minded than their straight counterparts? Well... the very fact that
we expect others to open their minds up to accept us puts on us an onus
to be open minded about many other things. The renowned author and my
idol Arundhati Roy once said that the main problem with the world was to
try to simplify what is complicated, and to pick injustices and fight
for them. We cannot pick injustices and fight for them. Every issue,
every situation is multidimensional and has to be dealt that way only. I
had this one gay friend who told me that he hated bi-sexuals and would
shoot them if he met any. Bi-sexualophobia is a truth in gay community.
Most of the gay guys consider bi-sexuals are experimenters who are in
the gay scene just for fun, and that they want to end up only with
girls. Well... my take is "let it be." If you don't like it, don't sleep
with them, but that doesn't mean you should hate them.
Casteism, racism, regionalism, communalism everything has its fair( or
unfair?) share in gay community. We want them to accept us the way we
are, but we are reluctant to transcend the barristers of caste, race,
national borders, religion that human kind had set up. There was this
guy on my friends list whose about-me section on Facebook profile read
like a typical matrimonial column in Malayala Manorama: " I'm 23, fair,
well-educated, middle-class guy looking for an intelligent,
well-educated, Marathi Brahmin of same social stature for a life-long
relationship." Ohh yeah... I pity that education which didn't teach you
to look beyond class, caste, and region.
The most shocking
thing about gay life in India is the way some of us have started to
think about homosexuality;that it is an upper middle class,
intellectual phenomenon . Many amongst us forget that homosexuality
cuts across all barriers, whether that be economic, social, or
biological. There's no reason to frown if you see a guy in rugged jeans
and old sandals without branded cooling glass at a gay meet, because
they too are a part of what makes the gay community. Not all of us roam
around in Peppy Jeans shirts, or Gucci cologne, and when it comes to
style, some of us can be real snobs.
Now, that's too much
negative about us. Nopes... I'm not cynical, and I am gong to prove
that. We might not be the "adarsh-bharathiya guys/gals," but we are not
afraid to love, and to stand for whom we love. We might not bring
"gaay-jaisi bahus" to our homes, but our boy friends are nothing short
of a stallion.
We work hard and we party harder. That's why Sam Austin said "
homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
- Rajeev Krishnan
Dealing With Homosexuality : Shahid Grewal
Dosto me Shahid aur ye meri story hai tabki jab me apne orientation ke bare me open hua tha mere doston ke samne….
13august 2007ko me Mumbai aaya tha engineer banana ke liye.Mujhe frnds
banana bahot pasand tha isliye jaldi hi achhe dost ban gaye…Hamara ek
group ban gaya 6girls and 5boys total 11… Bahot enjoy karte the hum,sath
me ghumna,khelna,padhna,lectures bunk karna.Mere frnds meri life ban
gaye the aisa kabhi laga hi nahi ki Mumbai me mera koi relative nahi
hai.
Par wahi hua jo har group me hota hai,jhagda aur woh bhi ladki ko lekar..Hamara last year tha december 2010
Pratik mere group ka ek ladka woh Puja se pyar karne laga.Puja bhi
hamare group me hi thi.Puja mujhe uska best frnd kehti thi aur apni sari
bate share karti thi,woh bhi Pratik ko pyar karti thi par mere sath
jyada time bitati thi bcz humdono ka ghar paas me hi tha.Bas isi wajah
se clg me Hamare charche hona shuru hogaya aur Pratik bhi humdono pe
shaq karne laga.Undono ke jhagde badhne lage.Puja mujhe best frnd manti
thi to Pratik mera best frnd tha.Use meri wajah se badi taklif hoti,woh
mujhse nafrat karne laga tha use lagta me Puja se pyar karta hu isliye
me undono me janbujhkar jhagde lagata hu.Par me Gay hu ye baat mujhe 8th
std me hi pata chal gayi thi isliye me nahi chahta thi ki meri wajah se
dono ka relation tute.Maine pratik ko bahot samjhaya par woh kuch sunne
ko tayar nahi tha isliye maine decide kiya ki me inko sab sach bata
dunga so tht woh samajh jaye aur unki misundrstnding dur hokar sab thik
hojaye.Maine socha ye 10mere best frnds hai fir inhe koi fark nahi
padega mere sexual orientation se.Isliye maine ek din Pratik ko bata
diya ki me Puja se pyar nahi karta kyunki me Gay hu,ye sunkar woh waha
se uthke chala gaya aur usne pure group members ko msg karke bata diya
even Puja too.Aur tabse meri life worst hogayi.
Mere doston ne mera
sath chhod diya..koi mujhse nafrat karta,kisiko mujhe dekhke ghinn aati
to koi has ke chala jata.Puja meri best frnd usne mujhse baat karna band
kar diya,Kisi ladke ko galti se bhi touch hojata to woh gandi gandi
baate bolte,ab mere sath koi tiffin share nahi karta tha,koi mere sath
class me ek bench pe nahi baithta,bolte the ki tu to mujhpe try maara
to…ye baate mujhe bahot hurt karti,unka behavior dard pohochata..par
phir limit cross hogayi mere kuch so called best frnds mere paas aakar
bole “Shahid ye gay kuch nahi hota tu confused hai…tum ek kaam kar” aur
unhone mujhe solutions batana shuru kar diya,
1.tu psychologist ke pas ja bcz ye ek mental disorder hai.
2.tu mere sath bazaar me chal n ladki ke sath sex kar fir tujhe pata chal jayega ki tu gay nahi hai.
3.tu ye me gay hu sochna band kar de agar tu ye sab chhodke kisi ladki
ko gf banayega tab hum tujhse dosti karenge otherwise not.
That was limit so maine unhe bataya ki gay matlab sirf sex nahi hota woh
sari feelings hoti hai jo ek ladka ladki ke liye feel karta hai,ye koi
disorder nahi jo medicine se thik hojaye,aur tum mere dost ho aur Gay
meri identity hai me apni identity kaise chod sakta hu aur me tumhe bhi
nahi chodna chahta isliye plz mujhe meri identity ke sath apnao….ye
sunkar sab gusse se chale gaye.me disappoint hogaya ki 21st century ke
Mumbai me rehne wale logon ki ye mentality? Weird tha…tabse unhone
mujhse baat karna band kar diya..ab har jagah me akela
tha,classrooms,canteen,library
Aaj me akela hu, sabki bahot yaad aati
hai bura lagta hai ki unhe meri kabhi yaad nahi aati,kya gay hona itni
badi baat hai jo woh meri 4saaal ki frndship bhul gaye…Dard hota hai aur
lagta hai ki ‘kaash unhone meri sachhai se jyada meri imandari dekhi
hoti,mere sexual orientation se jyada mere nature aur behavior ko
importance diya hota,mere sexual choice jyada mere dosti me believe kiya
hota…’ Jiske liye maine apni identity reveil ki woh Pratik n Puja aaj
ek happy couple hai aur shayad shadi bhi kar lenge,woh mujhe,mere
sacrifies ko yaad nahi karte par me khush hu ki mera balidan vyarth nahi
gaya…
Aaj maine sochke rakha hai agar koi mera dost banna chahta
hai to use mujhe mere identity ke sath swikarna hoga aur yahi sochkar me
fb pe aaya apni tanhaai ke sath aur yaha mujhe bahot khubsoorat dost
mile isliye me fb ka shukragujar hu…Aur ab lagta hai agar hum hi apne
identity se sharmate rahenge to log to use bura hi manenge kyunki hamari
madat hame khud karni hai aur koi nahi aayega…jab hum apne aap pe proud
feel karne lagenge tabhi log hume notice karne lagenge aur shayad ekdin
hum ye jung jeet jayenge..
Aur lagta hai shayad ek din mere dost
samajh jayenge ki straight aur gay ko banana wala ek hi hai to hum agar
use nafrat nahi karte to gay se kyu kare….aur shayad ekdin Pratik aur
Puja mujhe jarur call karenge apni shadi pe bulane ke liye……)))))))
Aaj me ek baat samajh gaya hu ki jo apne aap ki respect nahi karta uski
duniya respect nahi karti…Isliye dosto jab apne aapko mirror me dekho to
sharmindagi nahi garv karo gay hone pe… Kyunki hum bhi Insaan hai aur
hame bhi respectfull life jine ka haq hai………
- Shahid Grewal
Dealing With Homosexuality : Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh
Gяσωιиg υρ ιs ∂ємαи∂ιиg αи∂ cЋαℓℓєиgιиg
ŧαsк ƒσя єνєяy α∂σℓєscєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ αsρє¢ŧ ƒσямιиg σиє's sєxυαℓ
ι∂єиŧιŧy. αℓℓ ¢Ћιℓ∂яєи єxρℓσяє αи∂ єxρєяιмєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ sєxυαℓℓy αs
ραяŧ σƒ иσямαℓ ∂єvєℓσρмєиŧ. ŧЋιs sєxυαℓ вєЋαvισυя мαy вє ωιŧЋ мємвєяs
σƒ ŧЋє sαмє σя σρρσsιŧє sєx. ƒσя мαиy α∂σℓєscєиŧs, ŧЋιикιиg αвσυŧ αи∂ /
σя єxρєяιмєиŧιиg ωιŧЋ ŧЋє sαмє sєx мαy ¢αυsє ¢σи¢єяиs αи∂ αиxιєŧy
яєgαя∂ιиg ŧЋєιя sєxυαℓ σяιєиŧαŧισи. ƒσя σŧЋєяs, єvєи ŧЋσυgЋŧs σя
ƒαиŧαsιєs мαy ¢αυsє αиxιєŧy.
Homosexuality is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression. Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures. Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped
some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.
Parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder. The cause(s) of homosexuality are not fully understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words, individuals have no more choice about being homosexual than heterosexual. All teenagers do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation. Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or lesbian, teens still have many concerns.
These include:
* feeling different from peers;
* feeling guilty about their sexual orientation;
* worrying about the response from their
families and loved ones;
* being teased and ridiculed by their peers;
* worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;
* fearing discrimination when joining clubs,
sports, seeking admission to college, and finding
employment;
* being rejected and harassed by others.
Gay and lesbian teens can become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression. Parents and others need to be alert to these signs of distress because recent studies show that gay/lesbian youth account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.
It is important for parents to understand their teen's homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support. Parents often have difficulty accepting their teen's homosexuality for some of the same reasons that the youngster wants to keep it secret. Gay or lesbian adolescents should
be allowed to decide when and to whom to disclose their homosexuality. Parents and other family members may gain understanding and support from organizations such as Parents,
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG).
- Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh
Dealing With Homosexuality : Mo N Ey
Osho on Homosexuality- Accept whosoever you are. No condemnation
Question - Dear Osho, today you spoke of homosexuality and let us laugh
at the idea of all men walking arm-in-arm through the streets and
calling each other 'darling' laughter is good, of course, but sometimes
it has an edge of mockery. As a Gay person, I felt put down at that
moment. Please will you talk about how gay people or blacks or jews or
any other minority may receive and accept such laughter.
Osho -
Pradipam, You are not the only gay person here. We have many gay guys,
and many lesbian ladies too. This is a miniature world -- I have all
kinds of people here; my garden contains all kinds of flowerings, all
kinds of plants. It is less a garden, more a jungle. And I accept all --
wild plants and all. Everybody is welcome.
Why did only you
become disturbed? There are very famous gay guys here. In fact, I never
knew, Pradipam, that you were also one of them. Why did you become
disturbed? Why has nobody else taken any offence? They have learnt to
accept -- because that is my whole teaching! Accept whosoever you are.
No condemnation, no judgement, no evaluation. If you are a homosexual,
so what?! Enjoy it! God has made you that way. That is his way of
expressing himself through you. And there have been great homosexuals --
from Socrates onwards.
If you look at the long history of
homosexuals, you will be surprised: they have had better company than
the heterosexuals. In fact, great talented poets, painters, musicians,
artists -- all had a tendency towards homosexuality. There is something
in it, and that something has to be understood -- why artists, painters
and poets? Because these are the inventive people -- they are never
satisfied with things as they find them; they try to do new things.
Now, heterosexuality is a natural phenomenon; it is simply a given
fact. The inventive people start trying new ways to relate; they are
imaginative. Just falling in love again and again with a woman or with a
man seems to be routine. They would like to try some new experiments.
These are the people who have invented homosexuality. They are
inventors.
And some have gone even a little further ahead: they have
become bisexuals. Now the bisexual thinks the homosexual is a little
behind. The bisexual is more fluid -- can adjust with a woman, can
adjust with a man. He has far more opportunities of love-making. He will
never be starved; he can always find a lover, a beloved.
You must be feeling guilty somehow deep down; that's why you became
offended. Otherwise, you would have laughed and enjoyed the joke. And,
in fact, I am not responsible for saying those words -- guess who is
responsible?... And I don't think you can guess. The Pope!
The
Pope went on a journey to the Holy Land. On the last day he went to the
Mountain of Calvary and said his prayers. He walked down the hill
looking very holy and solemn with his incense-bowl swinging from his
hand. A homosexual who had been watching him from a distance came up to
the Pope, pulled very gently at his sleeve and said, "Hello, darling,
your handbag is on fire."
I got that idea from the Pope. But,
Pradipam, please don't be offended -- I am not against anybody. Blacks
or Jews or homosexuals -- I am not against anybody. My whole message is
one of total acceptance. But I don't invent these jokes: my sannyasins
go on sending them to me. So if you have some jokes against
heterosexuals, please send them to me. Just whatsoever jokes I receive, I
use.
Sometimes a few women have written letters to me saying,
"Your jokes are always against women." What can I do? Send me jokes
against men! I have no interest in inventing jokes -- people go on
sending me them. Send any kind of joke and I will use it.
But this
guilty feeling is not good. Deep down you are feeling as if you are
doing something wrong -- that's why it hurts. You have a wound inside;
you may have covered it, but the wound is there. And if you understand
me, uncover the wound. Only when you uncover it can it be healed. Let
the sun heal it and the wind heal it. Uncover it!
It is
perfectly right, whatsoever you are. It is NOBODY else's business. If
two men feel good being together, it is nobody else's business to
interfere. No law, no government, no religion, no church, should come
in. If they BOTH are happy, it is perfectly their own decision. And we
want the world to be happy -- and these two persons are contributing
their happiness to the world by being happy together.
If two
women feel good being with each other, the world is happier for that,
better for that. Don't make them feel guilty unnecessarily. But guilt
persists -- because down the ages you have been taught homosexuality is a
sin; down the ages you have been taught that this is one of the
greatest sins. You may be surprised to know: there have been states in
America, just a hundred years ago, where the punishment for
homosexuality was sentence for life. And there have been countries where
one was beheaded if one was caught in any homosexual relationship.
Humanity has been so stupid in the past. And we ALL carry those
conditionings deep down in the collective unconscious.
A
ventriloquist -- maybe it was Sarvesh -- was driving in the country when
he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As
he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he would have
some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand,
wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the farmer. "Sam," he
shouted, "those animals are talking! If that little sheep says anything
about me, it is a damned lie!"
That's how guilt comes up. You
cannot hide it -- it has its way of manifesting. You condemn your
homosexuality -- that's how your question has arisen. Otherwise, you
would have laughed, you would have enjoyed it! And unless a man is
capable of laughing at himself, he does not know what laughter is and
the beauty of laughter. To laugh at others is very simple; it is
violent, it is cruel. To laugh at oneself has something spiritual about
it. But we go on hiding behind rationalizations.
Now you think
the homosexual minority is being offended. One thing you should know: I
am neither a heterosexual, nor a homosexual, nor a bisexual -- so I
cannot be against this and for that. I belong no more to the world of
sex. Sex has no more meaning -- that's why I can accept you all.
Your so-called saints will not be capable of accepting you all, because
they belong to the world of sex; they themselves are sexual beings
still -- repressed, obsessed, maybe against, but to be against means you
are still obsessed. I am neither for nor against, neither for this nor
for that. It simply does not matter! It is simply games that people
enjoy playing -- it is fun, that's all. It has nothing serious about it.
It is childish. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, all is childish.
One day I hope you will grow beyond all these. And then a totally
different phenomenon happens: in the East we have called it
BRAHMACHARYA. The West has no equivalent word for it -- because in the
West consciousness has never penetrated to that height. The word
'celibacy' is a poor translation, and with ugly connotations.
'Celibacy' simply means not getting involved in sex; it is a negative
word. The celibate may not be beyond sex; he may be simply withholding.
BRAHMACHARYA actually means: living like a God. The literal meaning is:
living like God. What does it mean? -- living like God. It means sex has
simply disappeared: that smoke no more surrounds the flame of your
being; your flame of being is smokeless. And when sex has utterly
disappeared, the whole energy that is contained in sexuality is released
in love, in compassion.
But by feeling offended, you exposed
yourself. In a way this is good. Don't feel guilty any more. And it is
always good to expose yourself in utter nudity. Don't be afraid, because
that is the only way to, know oneself -- to expose oneself.
According to legend, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung once travelled together
on a train, and during the journey Jung began to analyse Freud, probing
deeper and deeper into the man's psyche in an attempt to pinpoint the
origin of his neurosis. Freud was being his evasive self, so when Jung
came to within a hairbreadth of Freud's essence, he asked impatiently
for Freud to reveal his innermost being, his true, real self.
"I cannot," Freud refused. "To do so would be to give up my authority."
At that, Jung sat back and sighed, "Then you have already lost it."
The real man is always ready to expose himself to the very core,
because he is not afraid. Freud saying this, "I cannot expose my real
self because to do so would be to give up my authority," is simply
saying that he is carrying a pseudo self around himself. He carried it
his whole life -- although he was the originator of psychoanalysis he
was never psychoanalysed. Many times his disciples approached him and
said, "We can psychoanalyse you," but he always refused. He was afraid.
This legend is very symbolic -- he was afraid to expose himself as he
was. And the fear was of losing authority. But a REAL man of authority
is never afraid of losing it. He CANNOT lose it. There is NO way of
losing it. And this is the difference between a man of authority and an
authoritative man. The authoritative man has NO real authority; he is a
pretender. The man of authority can expose himself absolutely, because
his authority is not something imposed from the outside -- it is his
very core, his experience, his authenticity. Jung did well when he sat
back and said, Then you have already lost it."
It is said, from
that day the rift started between Jung and Freud; then it could not be
bridged again. And I cannot say that only Jung was responsible for the
rift; in fact, basically Freud himself was responsible. Freud was
suffering from many kinds of things which can be called neurotic. Still
he would not allow himself to be analysed.
My whole work here
is to help you to expose yourself in your utter nudity. Whatsoever you
are, wherever you are, I am going to seek and search you out and bring
you into the light. Sometimes it hurts, it shocks; sometimes you feel
angry, offended, but please be patient. This is surgery -- it is bound
to be painful.
- Mo N Ey
Dealing With Homosexuality : NIrmaan HAlf HEarted
Letter to my mom,
Dear mom,
when i born u loved me like anything as i grown up my habits start involving in girls that also didnot mind ur motherhood.
Than i grown up and be an establish man then also your motherhood didnot affected.
You told me to marry a girl you want. I deny, but your motherhood still didnot affected.
You always give me shoulder to cry, hand to raise , shadow in sunlight, give sight to drowning me.
But, now when i accepted towards you that what am i , where your motherhood gone.
You and daddy both force me to think like straight , to marry a girl , not to be friend with boys .
This is not what i listened about mothers and motherhood , i think
people and infact you prefer the sexuality instead of humanity .....~€~
dhaash, i think its not your fault . The society and people make you to
think like that to think like that i am ill person and it is my choice
to be with man or woman.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you
are letting me to get out from house. Your motherhood never obliged you
when you were watching me beaten by dad.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you were locking me in the room.
Where is your love, your affection, your MOTHERHOOD.
So, for this now a better salute to this world . Hope you 'd understand me that i never do this..
Bbye mom .. I am quiting the world.
But, my last world...
`GOD don't make me GAY in my next birth `
your son
niru :[
- NIrmaan HAlf HEarted
Dealing With Homosexuality : Fioravandi Pietro Fleming
Being
Gay is a journey that has been destined for you even prior to your
birth, Its is not something you can go out and purchase over a counter
or stand under the stars on a starry night and make a wish by saying..."
I wish to be gay".
For me it has been an incredible journey
with many pitfalls but it was entirely up to me to stand by whom I am
and above all believe in who I am. It is vitally important for all of us
to realize that nobody but nobody can bring you happiness and
contentment but YOU!!! From a very tender age I realized that I had
different feelings within my in comparison to the other boys in our
neighborhood. I wanted to do entirely different things to them. This ,
of course, in self posed a problem. Hence, i moved into a world of
fantasy whereby I could lose myself and be "happy". This spared me
insults and nastiness from my friends. Living in the real world at that
age was already difficult.
In my adolescent years the struggle
started. My siblings realized that their brother was different and
started avoiding me. Tears became my everyday companion and I must admit
gave me tons of relief. My high school years were absolutely hell!!!! I
was the outcast in more ways than...but this did not deter me from
being whom I am. I was stoned (and it hurt more emotionally than it did
physically). Looking back, today I can smile because at the end of the
day I did not betray myself. I pushed through to the bitter end.
I got engaged in my early twenties when I started my Nursing career.
This was to blend in with the rest of society. I in actual fact I was
running away from the truth because I was in a new city where no-one
knew me. That year of being engaged was hell, not for her but for me. I
was living a lie and that did not rest well with me at all. Not going
into great detail the engagement ended and I could sigh with relief...I
was free from my lies. There is a saying in the English
language......THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE" Boy It surely did it for me.
To this day i am still on very good terms with her. That is indeed a
Bonus for me. The drama with my family was lengthy and very bitter. That
is is story on its own!!! I endured their insults, beatings as well,
from time to time. I still would not budge..".I AM GAY". I was cursed,
avoided, slandered...yet I bore my cross with a smile. "To Him who
waits. it shall be given" My wait for acceptance was long and
tedious....but it eventually arrived . Today my entire family loves me
for whom I am and my perseverance. Having a relationship in the gay
world is no different to the straight world, a relationship between two
people, irrespective of their sexual orientation is a way of life and
presents with every day problems e.g. the insecurities, jealousy,
betrayal, nastiness etc. I learnt vastly from my relationships( had one
for 8 years and for 18 years). My gay relationships gave me a sense of
belonging, a sense of responsibility, and the experience of being loved.
Today I am at peace and very content. I refuse to be a bitter person
because of the manner of how I was treated as a Gay man. We have walked a
long difficult road so that the younger generation can live is a
society where there is no discrimination between the sexual orientation
of people.
Shakespeare clearly stated" And above all things
unto thine own self be TRUE". Have the determination to believe in
yourself irrespective of the hassles society places on you. My tale is
one of many that is known to many other gay men and I know they will
identify identify with me.
For all my bitter experiences I have a broad smile on my face and can say"The journey was worth my persecution!!!!
- Fioravandi Pietro Fleming
Dealing With Homosexuality : Roy Adi
Homosexuality........!!!!!!!
homosexuality means to have attraction towards the same sex. is it
wrong ? if yes so why it is wrong ? i don't think that it is wrong. love
is like a bird. it can fly in the sky any where. with his own friends
or with other animals and many more. i mean to say that love is blind it
could be with an one weather with the same sex or with the
other sex. when a baby is in his mothers womb the mother loves him/her
instead of knowing weather it is a male or female or gay or anything
else. that is love. i don't think being homosexual is a crime we all are
also human beings so why the society discriminates us ? why we are
afraid of telling it to any one ? why? why? why?
this is not fare at all....
Dealing with homosexuality is a topic which seriously does not have any
end. its an endless topic and its very difficult too. a person who is a
man but loves a man........!!
Such a great topic to gossip for
others. nobody thinks what he is feeling. nobody wants to keep himself
at his place and think according to him. nobody is with him. finally it
results in depression, loneliness,lack of self confidence etc. but why ?
because the world is full of ego. of any 1 is two steps ahead of him he
will pull down him by doing any thing. without thinking what will be
its result. i am the live example of it. when people wants anything from
it i do everything for them but when it is my turn they show me a huge
thumb. in the race when ii am with them then its fine but when i am 2
steps ahead they pull me down by abusing me or making fun of my
homosexuality. its a very difficult task to be a homosexual person. just
hiding the matter that i am homosexual from the world is too difficult.
in every moment, in every path of life i have to suffer with the
abusing of others, suckling words, shamefulness and all. but on the
other hand little little moments i love to keep which gives me respects.
a life of dignity, one more chance to explore the world, one more
chance to live. hmmmmm at the same time its very difficult to share your
feelings to any one, to get a life partner. and if i got then again a
problem.... if anyone came to know about what will happen ? how would be
i able to stay in the society ? people would laugh at me....!!! why
society....?? its my life society will not live it . why they want to
kill my dreams ? why the society don't want to accept it ? society
society society........!!!!!! this is the matter.
so at last i
jst want to say that it is really very difficult to be homosexual.
there is a line in hindi " bhagvan ne jo b is duniya m bnaya hai soch
smjh kr hi bnaya hai " then why we are not accepting the creation of
god.
thank u all for reading.......
luv u we 4 u.........
- Roy Adi
Dealing With Homosexuality : Ved Roy
Homosexual/gay/story/incident/
from the time I read about the topic on the wall of WE4YOU,am thinking on it from then.I asked Arnab -"what should I write".He told me -"whatever you want to". What does it mean- I said to myself and I again read the post"the
article should be short". Short well this topic is so diverse and complex, if I would write a novel on it,that also would not justify the topic.
So I thought why not think "Out of box" and I ran to mother and asked how she deals with us. She said chopping the vegetables as god with little devils.Then I
called my friend and asked how he deals with his girlfriend.He said -"as Manmohan Singh deals with Mamta and other allies",I thought I touched the wrong chord so I disconnected the line.So here I am more confused than earlier how I deal with my homosexuality. Should I scream on road/or bang
my head or do what.Is it a bad luck...that I am homosexual.I am a lonely guy,I want somebody to love,I am so depressed.Then suddenly my mother came and switch on the light come outside see a baby bird is doing something.I came out and see a baby bird just out of shell trying to fly and repeatedly was falling down from branch and was trying again.At the same time I realized is not am in same situation also trying to deal with my homosexuality.But hey do I have to deal with it.I mean
that small bird also know it has to learn to fly and I also have to
learn to make it a part of my life.Then why think on it which is of no
use.Does my homosexuality help me if I dont perform in my work/or is it
a hindrance if i travel on road.NO nobody cares for it.
Millions walk on earth and nobody has time to see you are homosexual or not.Then why I have to deal with it.Like my body features its part of my life.I cannot do away with it,so its fine.I am not walking with written on my head am a sad homosexual.Why should I ?
So am not dealing with but am living
with it my indefinite dreams of my life.I know its not clear but hey
friends in life its not necessary to be every time clear.Like I said its
my life and I am living with it.
- Ved Roy
Dealing With Homosexuality : Jim Clifford
I
did everything in my life, as a good boy, and after high school went to
college and made 99% marks. As I said, I did everything very well but
tackle the thought of my sexuality. I excelled in everything I had
done, even took 4 years of private lessons in songwriting and music
theory from a magnificent teacher... I still write and play today....
I felt I knew nothing about my sexuality. Though in my subconscious I
knew something was different. I did not want to be exculpated from
those around me...... So I did everything else I could in my life,
tackling every aspect except my sexuality...
So I became a good songwriter, I graduated college, and entered my career, and then it happened.
I was in my neighborhood supermarket, in the produce section, imagine
that, of course, and Ronny came up to me and asked may I help you? We
engaged in a simple nice conversation, he asked if I would have lunch. I
said Yes. I lived two blocks away, we had a nice luncheon in my
apartment, and he left back to work. Then I noticed he left his jacket.
A day later, he called and said "I left my jacket, may I come and pick it up?"
He then asked me if I would like to go out with him.... I said yes.... not knowing what to expect.
In those days, the gay clubs were exclusive and members only, and he
took me to every club in West Hollywood. We danced, we had a good time,
it was bliss.
Then it happened that we made love one night,
and it was heaven, my first time... oh I fell in love that night.... no
details needed here, just to say it was heaven....
I
immediately called my family and friends and said I was in love, and the
response was yes, with whom? I said with a BOY named Ronny. Oh? Mama
said she always knew, she loved me and she loved me and always wanted
me to be happy. Sister had a lot of questions... my brother had no
questions just said he loved me... my other sister said I know my dear
brother, I love you.
We had a torrid love affair for three
months. Ronny took me to all the best clubs, and I was so excited to be
in these places, it was so comfortable... so many kinds of people,
every ethnicity, every culture and guys from many countries... yet all I
could see is that they were all gay... my people....!
Three
months, it ended. I was devastated. I cried, walking home for 2 miles
in the rain... I was crying hard, but the rain hid my tears..... I was
so crushed.... I cried the whole night....
The days passed, and
I was able to go to the clubs Ronny invited me to, and I met new
friends who were gay. I had not known a gay person before Ronny. The
music was wonderful, I met new friends, and I felt my life had finally
started....
I never thought I was in the closet as I had
announced to my family and friends as soon as I had my first boyfriend.
I lost half my friends. No matter here... I kept all of my family.
From then I have felt forever free, to be myself, my family and
remaining friends loved me, no matter how I was, for I was born this
way....
I did meet up with Ronny again, and we had remained
good friends for many years until he moved away.... there were no bad
feelings, only a love of friendship.... and in my heart I have always
been thankful for his love and friendship with me...
It's been a
long journey, it did not happen overnight, but it took years for me to
be comfortable to say YES I AM GAY... and please,my family, if you have
to vote on gay marriage, think of me, your sweet cousin, nephew,
grandson, son, I AM GAY, think of me and think of how I want to live my
life.... FREEEEEEEEEEE.... free to marry the one I love.... free to be
me........
Now years ahead, my family loves me dearly and I am
the favored "son" though my mama and grandma are in heaven. I am still
the favored one.... they love me dearly... and they wish the most
happiness for me... to find my love and to live my life with abandonment
of conventions and love freely... and now at my age I have found my
true love after all these years that I have waited....for so very long,
for the one.... and finally I am free....
Bless all my
brothers... I love you all dearly... keep the faith, keep true to your
values and wishes... your desire for true love... for it will happen...
- Jim Clifford
Dealing With Homosexuality : Aakash Oberoi
Homosexuality is not a new phenomenon and has been rejected by Islam
and other world religions as a perversion and a sin. Yet whereas in the
past those who practiced homosexuality had mostly been either silent or
marginalized, today we have gained wider acceptance and vocal support
mostly due to sustained campaigning by gay rights groups to enhance
their image and spread their appeal.
When we are covering topic of
Dealing with Homosexuality so I’d like to directly go into the bulk that
is ‘Dealing with it’ rather than stating more on what is homosexuality
and other related issues. It’s more like an advisory article which will
let you know how to deal with it.
It has two aspects of dealing. One
is homosexual’s dealing with himself and second is, heterosexuals
dealing with homosexuality. I’ll cover both the aspects.
1] Dealing with YourSelf as Queer:
People say it’s unfortunate, If you are thinking you are less or bad
then don’t expect from others any appreciation or even good thoughts
about you and it’s happening in whole world not just in India or others
Asian countries. You respect yourself first! What do you mean by being
fortunate? – being rich and having respect. If yes then Okkaay! But by
being gay you can have that…Prove yourself! (Sleepovers and ‘ASL’s chat
won’t contribute you anything)
Tim Cook, Apple’s New CEO is the Most Powerful Gay Man in America (It means in World somehow)
Whatever is responsible for making someone gay, bi or straight – THAT’S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!
“I do believe that I was born with my homosexuality, and I'm fine with
that! A lot of people think being gay or lesbian is a sin, and we will
go to hell for it, but this is how I look at it... God makes everyone
right? God made me, God made you, God made and continues to make
everyone. Therefore if God made me gay, because this isn't some DECISION
that I made up one day, then this is how I am suppose to live, and die;
and I am proud to be gay.”
There's sometimes nothing you can
say that will change some people - try not to let it get to you too
much. And if people in your area are making life difficult for you, try
to just stick with any friends who are on your side. You don't have to
stay in the area when you're older - there are many parts of the world
that are much more tolerant.
2] Dealing with Homosexual:
1. Use religion carefully
When it comes to accepting gay people it seems as though it is the hard
line religious people that have the hardest time. learn about religion
and spirituality from someone who has developed the qualities of love,
compassion and wisdom and NOT someone who only has a good scriptural
knowledge.
2. Realize they are still the same person
Your
gay friend is still your friend. Your gay son is still your son. They
are still the same person you loved for all those years, shared those
memories with and relied on in times of hardship. The fact that they
have revealed their sexuality to you does not mean they love you any
less or that they have become a strange and different person.
3. Understand your fear
Being afraid is okay. It is natural to experience some fear at things
we don’t understand. But choosing to be angry instead of dealing with
our own problem is incorrect. It will never solve the issue. It will
only make matters worse. When you are afraid of something you need to
find out why and then address the problem. The same is true of this
issue. Find out where your fear comes from and then find realistic steps
to solving it.
4. Switch your perspective
Here is an
example. Close your eyes and imagine the whole world was gay. Your
parents are gay, your brothers and sisters are gay – gay is the normal.
Now imagine that you are attracted to a member of the opposite sex and
you know that everyone else is going to consider this to be dirty,
sinful or shameful. You are the odd one out. Imagine the knots that
develop in your stomach and the tightness that you feel in your throat
because you are so stressed about “coming out”. How does that feel?
Now take it one step further and imagine that you tell your parents
that you are a hetero and they react badly. Your own parents, the people
who love you no matter what, tell you that you are disgusting. How does
it make you feel? Not nice.
However you feel about homosexuality,
you owe it to your friend to separate that issue from the homosexual. Do
you understand that? If you don’t like homosexuality it doesn’t mean
you can’t like the homosexual. I don’t like smoking but I still like my
friends who smoke. I don’t like anger but I still like my friends who
get angry. Try shifting your perspective and see what you can come up
with.
Conclusion:
Gay people are people. They deserve
the same respect that anyone else deserves. In my opinion, if we start
being biased towards gays we may as well start buying slaves again. It
is the same thing. Look at your fear, open your mind and use your
religion to find a way to reach acceptance – NOT HATE.
- Akash Oberoi
Dealing With Homosexuality : Sachin Jai
An article About : Dealing with Homosexuality
INTRO
HOMOSEXUALITY is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to
someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression.
Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience
their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence.
Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures.
Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped
some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual
orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to
heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress,
struggles, and tasks during adolescence.
How Do We Dealt With It .....???
Parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is
not a mental disorder. The causes of homosexuality are not fully
understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of
choice.Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or
lesbian, teens still have many concerns.
These include:
* feeling different from peers;
* feeling guilty about their sexual orientation;
* worrying about the response from their families and loved ones;
* worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;
It is important for parents to understand their teen's
homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support because they
became socially isolated .Wihdraw from activities and friends how
trouble concentrating and devlop low selfesteem. They may Also devlop
Depression. parents and other needs to alert to this science of
distraced because recent studies shows that gay and lesbian younth
account for a significant numver of daths by sucide in adolescence.
Parents and other family members may gain understanding and
support from organizations such as Parents, Families and Friends of
Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).
2nd July 2009 is biggest
rememorable day in Indian History with One sweeping judgement the
indian high court determinalized homosexuality shook off stubborn piece
of colonial baggage and may have added momenturm to a broader regional
movement for gay rights, "THIS IS A HUGE STAGE FOR WORD" phrase anjali
gopalan Director of the NAZ Foundation India Trust. An advocacy group
based in New Delhi that sucessfully brought a public interest petition
to overturn india's anti-sodomy law,section 377 of the IPC "WE CAN NOW
TAKE THE NEXT STEP FORWARD FOR THE COMMUNITY IN SECURING OUR RIGHTS "
In the Court's decision chieif justice A.P.SHAH & S.Murlidhar
determined the section 377,as it pertain to confensual sex among people
above 18 years of age in violation of major parts of India's
Constitution.
Conclusion
In short We Proud To be a
Homosexual why we have shame,guilty and nervousness, why we have fear
from the society ultimately we have the same human nature and heart.So,
the government is with us So come and next step to forward.
Love you Gu(a)ys ♥
- Sachin Jai
Dealing With Homosexuality : Happy Sachin
I
Am Gratefull To This Group (We 4 You) And Proud To Be here For Giving
Me Such A Astounding n Opportunity To Describe My Views On The
Topic..That Is Dealing With Homosexuality
Dealing With Homosexuality A Big Quest OF This Era.
It is possible that some people have urges that are considered abnormal
by others. Sometimes, from a religious perspective these urges would
indeed be classified as abnormal. But simply having such urges does not
justify acting upon them.
The issue of sexual orientation has
raised a huge controversy in Western circles. People are still debating
whether sexual orientation is decreed by what they call 'Nature', or by
'nurture'. And the reason for this debate is that there is a tendency to
justify homosexual urges because, it is claimed, they are beyond one's
control. So, some people say: “My sexual orientation is something Nature
has decreed. It's in my DNA – my genes! So its not in my control
whether I am attracted to the opposite gender or the same gender.”
Such discussion is happening in the backdrop of what has been termed
the 'sexual revolution', which began in full force in the 60′s and, some
would argue, is still continuing to this day. People are more open
about topics of sexuality, morality levels have radically changed, and
it has become acceptable to espouse what has been termed 'alternative
life styles'. To give you just one example of how dramatic this
revolution has been, many would be surprised to discover that even as
recently as 50 years ago, Western culture viewed homosexuality with a
very different lens. Up until 1973, homosexuality was actually
classified as a mental disease in America.
I have been
extraordinarily fortunate to have met many people who have emerged from
the gay life. When I see the personal difficulties they have squarely
faced, the sheer courage they have displayed not only in facing these
difficulties but also in confronting a culture that uses every possible
means to deny the validity of their values, goals, and experiences, I
truly stand back in wonder... It is these people -- former homosexuals
and those who are still struggling, all across America and aboard -- who
stand for me as a model of everything good and possible in a world that
takes the human heart, and the God of that heart, seriously. In my
various explorations within the worlds of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy,
and psychiatry, I have simply never before seen such profound healing."
Homosexuality Is not a phenomenon and has been rejected by Islam and
other world religions as a perversion and a sin. Yet whereas in the past
those who practiced homosexuality had mostly been either silent or
marginalized, today they have gained wider acceptance and vocal support
mostly due to sustained campaigning by gay rights groups to enhance
their image and spread their appeal.
when a person is looking
for a spouse, such a person should feel an attraction to somebody of a
similar background and culture and age. Such is the way that Allah
created us – a man is attracted to the natural beauty of a woman. And
that is why in the past, for thousands of years, our own fathers, and
forefathers before them, did not emphasize external beauty to even a
fraction of what we do, and yet it can be argued, merely by looking at
their divorce rates, that their marriages were far more successful than
ours. The whole emphasis on external beauty was simply unnatural to
them. All of you know how your own parents and grandparents got married,
and their grandparents before them. The groom comes, sees the bride,
and, generally speaking, there is an attraction and the marriage takes
place. Nowadays, on the other hand, the very notion of a pre-arranged
marriage is a mockery that we would not subjugate ourselves to (and I am
not suggesting here that we should – I'm merely pointing out how things
have changed in just one generation). This emphasis that we have on
'beauty' and 'compatibility' is a very modern phenomenon. Of course I'm
not suggesting that people in the past did not care about beauty, but
what I am saying is that it was not anywhere near as emphasized as it is
now. Also, since the generations before us were raised in environments
where they were not subjected to the sight of sexual images everywhere,
they would not compare their prospective spouses to the sensual images
of world-famous models that have been seared into our heads as a result
of our upbringing here. When we expect our spouses to look like the most
beautiful/handsome people on Earth (and it must be pointed out that
most pictures we see are not even real, having been digitally altered
to look super-humanly sexy), this will only lead to trouble.And so, when
we have been bombarded with sexual images all the time, that which is
naturally lustful loses its erotic nature. This then leads to being
attracted to unnatural attractions. The bar for 'sexual titillation'
rises higher and higher. It also explains certain sexual habits that are
becoming more predominant between couples.
As traditional and
religion-based arguments opposing homosexuality are getting sidelined
and ridiculed as outdated by its secular supporters, debates are now
taking place at the scientific, social, and political fronts. This
special coverage tackles the issue on all these fronts and probes how
modern society and individuals are dealing with this old problem
While no one consciously chooses to have homosexual feelings, there is
nothing that indicates they are biologically determined to be forever
homosexual. We will not arrogantly say that biology has absolutely no
bearing on a vulnerability to homosexuality. However, even researchers
agree that while there may be biological influences, they do not
obligate a person to be homosexual. Just because the stage is set
doesn't require the play to be acted out.
There are subtle
messages behind the thought of homosexuality being inborn. Many who hold
the belief that homosexuality is biologically determined assume it is
therefore both normal and moral. Let's suppose for a minute that
homosexuality is indeed determined by genetics or some other biological
factor. Simply because it is "natural" for the individual doesn't make
it "normal." (Down's syndrome is just one example of this).
It
is not sound logic to make the assumption that if someone were born gay
then it is wrong for religions to prohibit homosexual behavior. Most
people will not argue against religious admonitions against drunkenness
or violence, yet modern science has found genetic factors in these
behaviors. Why would we want to elevate this particular issue over
others? Religions do not require anything more from a person dealing
with homosexuality then they do for anyone else - becoming what we by
nature are not.
Try to repel these urges, do not act upon them,
take immediate steps to get married, and throughout all of this, put
your trust in God and continue making du'a to Him, and I pray that God
makes your situation easy for you and blesses you in this life and the
next.
Hope This article Is going to further be a public
debate.It will allow the concerned Authorities to rise and shine and do
the need Full.
Thank You For Reading This Article.God Bless you.
- Happy sachin
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