Dealing With Homosexuality : Ved Roy

Homosexual/gay/story/incident/scientific terms/google.....zizzz

from the time I read about the topic on the wall of WE4YOU,am thinking on it from then.I asked Arnab -"what should I write".He told me -"whatever you want to". What does it mean- I said to myself and I again read the post"the

article should be short". Short well this topic is so diverse and complex, if I would write a novel on it,that also would not justify the topic. 

 

So I thought why not think "Out of box" and I ran to mother and asked how she deals with us. She said chopping the vegetables as god with little devils.Then I
called my friend and asked how he deals with his girlfriend.He said -"as Manmohan Singh deals with Mamta and other allies",I thought I touched the wrong chord so I disconnected the line.So here I am more confused than earlier how I deal with my homosexuality. Should I scream on road/or bang
my head or do what.Is it a bad luck...that I am homosexual.I am a lonely guy,I want somebody to love,I am so depressed.Then suddenly my mother came and switch on the light come outside see a baby bird is doing something.I came out and see a baby bird just out of shell trying to fly and repeatedly was falling down from branch and was trying again.At the same time I realized is not am in same situation also trying to deal with my homosexuality.But hey do I have to deal with it.I mean
that small bird also know it has to learn to fly and I also have to learn to make it a part of my life.Then why think on it which is of no use.Does my homosexuality help me if I dont perform in my work/or is it a hindrance if i travel on road.NO nobody cares for it.

 

Millions walk on earth and nobody has time to see you are homosexual or not.Then why I have to deal with it.Like my body features its part of my life.I cannot do away with it,so its fine.I am not walking with written on my head am a sad homosexual.Why should I ?

So am not dealing with but am living with it my indefinite dreams of my life.I know its not clear but hey friends in life its not necessary to be every time clear.Like I said its my life and I am living with it.

 

- Ved Roy

Dealing With Homosexuality : Jim Clifford

I did everything in my life, as a good boy, and after high school went to college and made 99% marks. As I said, I did everything very well but tackle the thought of my sexuality. I excelled in everything I had done, even took 4 years of private lessons in songwriting and music theory from a magnificent teacher... I still write and play today....

I felt I knew nothing about my sexuality. Though in my subconscious I knew something was different. I did not want to be exculpated from those around me...... So I did everything else I could in my life, tackling every aspect except my sexuality...

So I became a good songwriter, I graduated college, and entered my career, and then it happened.

I was in my neighborhood supermarket, in the produce section, imagine that, of course, and Ronny came up to me and asked may I help you? We engaged in a simple nice conversation, he asked if I would have lunch. I said Yes. I lived two blocks away, we had a nice luncheon in my apartment, and he left back to work. Then I noticed he left his jacket.

A day later, he called and said "I left my jacket, may I come and pick it up?"

He then asked me if I would like to go out with him.... I said yes.... not knowing what to expect.

In those days, the gay clubs were exclusive and members only, and he took me to every club in West Hollywood. We danced, we had a good time, it was bliss.

Then it happened that we made love one night, and it was heaven, my first time... oh I fell in love that night.... no details needed here, just to say it was heaven....

I immediately called my family and friends and said I was in love, and the response was yes, with whom? I said with a BOY named Ronny. Oh? Mama said she always knew, she loved me and she loved me and always wanted me to be happy. Sister had a lot of questions... my brother had no questions just said he loved me... my other sister said I know my dear brother, I love you.

We had a torrid love affair for three months. Ronny took me to all the best clubs, and I was so excited to be in these places, it was so comfortable... so many kinds of people, every ethnicity, every culture and guys from many countries... yet all I could see is that they were all gay... my people....!

Three months, it ended. I was devastated. I cried, walking home for 2 miles in the rain... I was crying hard, but the rain hid my tears..... I was so crushed.... I cried the whole night....

The days passed, and I was able to go to the clubs Ronny invited me to, and I met new friends who were gay. I had not known a gay person before Ronny. The music was wonderful, I met new friends, and I felt my life had finally started....

I never thought I was in the closet as I had announced to my family and friends as soon as I had my first boyfriend. I lost half my friends. No matter here... I kept all of my family.

From then I have felt forever free, to be myself, my family and remaining friends loved me, no matter how I was, for I was born this way....

I did meet up with Ronny again, and we had remained good friends for many years until he moved away.... there were no bad feelings, only a love of friendship.... and in my heart I have always been thankful for his love and friendship with me...

It's been a long journey, it did not happen overnight, but it took years for me to be comfortable to say YES I AM GAY... and please,my family, if you have to vote on gay marriage, think of me, your sweet cousin, nephew, grandson, son, I AM GAY, think of me and think of how I want to live my life.... FREEEEEEEEEEE.... free to marry the one I love.... free to be me........

Now years ahead, my family loves me dearly and I am the favored "son" though my mama and grandma are in heaven. I am still the favored one.... they love me dearly... and they wish the most happiness for me... to find my love and to live my life with abandonment of conventions and love freely... and now at my age I have found my true love after all these years that I have waited....for so very long, for the one.... and finally I am free....

Bless all my brothers... I love you all dearly... keep the faith, keep true to your values and wishes... your desire for true love... for it will happen...

- Jim Clifford

Dealing With Homosexuality : Aakash Oberoi

Homosexuality is not a new phenomenon and has been rejected by Islam and other world religions as a perversion and a sin. Yet whereas in the past those who practiced homosexuality had mostly been either silent or marginalized, today we have gained wider acceptance and vocal support mostly due to sustained campaigning by gay rights groups to enhance their image and spread their appeal.
When we are covering topic of Dealing with Homosexuality so I’d like to directly go into the bulk that is ‘Dealing with it’ rather than stating more on what is homosexuality and other related issues. It’s more like an advisory article which will let you know how to deal with it.
It has two aspects of dealing. One is homosexual’s dealing with himself and second is, heterosexuals dealing with homosexuality. I’ll cover both the aspects.

1] Dealing with YourSelf as Queer:

People say it’s unfortunate, If you are thinking you are less or bad then don’t expect from others any appreciation or even good thoughts about you and it’s happening in whole world not just in India or others Asian countries. You respect yourself first! What do you mean by being fortunate? – being rich and having respect. If yes then Okkaay! But by being gay you can have that…Prove yourself! (Sleepovers and ‘ASL’s chat won’t contribute you anything)
Tim Cook, Apple’s New CEO is the Most Powerful Gay Man in America (It means in World somehow)

Whatever is responsible for making someone gay, bi or straight – THAT’S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!
“I do believe that I was born with my homosexuality, and I'm fine with that! A lot of people think being gay or lesbian is a sin, and we will go to hell for it, but this is how I look at it... God makes everyone right? God made me, God made you, God made and continues to make everyone. Therefore if God made me gay, because this isn't some DECISION that I made up one day, then this is how I am suppose to live, and die; and I am proud to be gay.”

There's sometimes nothing you can say that will change some people - try not to let it get to you too much. And if people in your area are making life difficult for you, try to just stick with any friends who are on your side. You don't have to stay in the area when you're older - there are many parts of the world that are much more tolerant.

2] Dealing with Homosexual:

1. Use religion carefully
When it comes to accepting gay people it seems as though it is the hard line religious people that have the hardest time. learn about religion and spirituality from someone who has developed the qualities of love, compassion and wisdom and NOT someone who only has a good scriptural knowledge.

2. Realize they are still the same person
Your gay friend is still your friend. Your gay son is still your son. They are still the same person you loved for all those years, shared those memories with and relied on in times of hardship. The fact that they have revealed their sexuality to you does not mean they love you any less or that they have become a strange and different person.

3. Understand your fear
Being afraid is okay. It is natural to experience some fear at things we don’t understand. But choosing to be angry instead of dealing with our own problem is incorrect. It will never solve the issue. It will only make matters worse. When you are afraid of something you need to find out why and then address the problem. The same is true of this issue. Find out where your fear comes from and then find realistic steps to solving it.

4. Switch your perspective
Here is an example. Close your eyes and imagine the whole world was gay. Your parents are gay, your brothers and sisters are gay – gay is the normal. Now imagine that you are attracted to a member of the opposite sex and you know that everyone else is going to consider this to be dirty, sinful or shameful. You are the odd one out. Imagine the knots that develop in your stomach and the tightness that you feel in your throat because you are so stressed about “coming out”. How does that feel?

Now take it one step further and imagine that you tell your parents that you are a hetero and they react badly. Your own parents, the people who love you no matter what, tell you that you are disgusting. How does it make you feel? Not nice.
However you feel about homosexuality, you owe it to your friend to separate that issue from the homosexual. Do you understand that? If you don’t like homosexuality it doesn’t mean you can’t like the homosexual. I don’t like smoking but I still like my friends who smoke. I don’t like anger but I still like my friends who get angry. Try shifting your perspective and see what you can come up with.

Conclusion:

Gay people are people. They deserve the same respect that anyone else deserves. In my opinion, if we start being biased towards gays we may as well start buying slaves again. It is the same thing. Look at your fear, open your mind and use your religion to find a way to reach acceptance – NOT HATE.

- Akash Oberoi

Dealing With Homosexuality : Sachin Jai

An article About : Dealing with Homosexuality

INTRO

HOMOSEXUALITY is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression. Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures. Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.

How Do We Dealt With It .....???

Parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder. The causes of homosexuality are not fully understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice.Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or lesbian, teens still have many concerns.

These include:

* feeling different from peers;
* feeling guilty about their sexual orientation;
* worrying about the response from their families and loved ones;
* worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;

It is important for parents to understand their teen's homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support because they became socially isolated .Wihdraw from activities and friends how trouble concentrating and devlop low selfesteem. They may Also devlop Depression. parents and other needs to alert to this science of distraced because recent studies shows that gay and lesbian younth account for a significant numver of daths by sucide in adolescence.

Parents and other family members may gain understanding and support from organizations such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

2nd July 2009 is biggest rememorable day in Indian History with One sweeping judgement the indian high court determinalized homosexuality shook off stubborn piece of colonial baggage and may have added momenturm to a broader regional movement for gay rights, "THIS IS A HUGE STAGE FOR WORD" phrase anjali gopalan Director of the NAZ Foundation India Trust. An advocacy group based in New Delhi that sucessfully brought a public interest petition to overturn india's anti-sodomy law,section 377 of the IPC "WE CAN NOW TAKE THE NEXT STEP FORWARD FOR THE COMMUNITY IN SECURING OUR RIGHTS "

In the Court's decision chieif justice A.P.SHAH & S.Murlidhar determined the section 377,as it pertain to confensual sex among people above 18 years of age in violation of major parts of India's Constitution.

Conclusion

In short We Proud To be a Homosexual why we have shame,guilty and nervousness, why we have fear from the society ultimately we have the same human nature and heart.So, the government is with us So come and next step to forward.

Love you Gu(a)ys ♥

- Sachin Jai

Dealing With Homosexuality : Happy Sachin

I Am Gratefull To This Group (We 4 You) And Proud To Be here For Giving Me Such A Astounding n Opportunity To Describe My Views On The Topic..That Is Dealing With Homosexuality

Dealing With Homosexuality A Big Quest OF This Era.

It is possible that some people have urges that are considered abnormal by others. Sometimes, from a religious perspective these urges would indeed be classified as abnormal. But simply having such urges does not justify acting upon them.

The issue of sexual orientation has raised a huge controversy in Western circles. People are still debating whether sexual orientation is decreed by what they call 'Nature', or by 'nurture'. And the reason for this debate is that there is a tendency to justify homosexual urges because, it is claimed, they are beyond one's control. So, some people say: “My sexual orientation is something Nature has decreed. It's in my DNA – my genes! So its not in my control whether I am attracted to the opposite gender or the same gender.”

Such discussion is happening in the backdrop of what has been termed the 'sexual revolution', which began in full force in the 60′s and, some would argue, is still continuing to this day. People are more open about topics of sexuality, morality levels have radically changed, and it has become acceptable to espouse what has been termed 'alternative life styles'. To give you just one example of how dramatic this revolution has been, many would be surprised to discover that even as recently as 50 years ago, Western culture viewed homosexuality with a very different lens. Up until 1973, homosexuality was actually classified as a mental disease in America.
I have been extraordinarily fortunate to have met many people who have emerged from the gay life. When I see the personal difficulties they have squarely faced, the sheer courage they have displayed not only in facing these difficulties but also in confronting a culture that uses every possible means to deny the validity of their values, goals, and experiences, I truly stand back in wonder... It is these people -- former homosexuals and those who are still struggling, all across America and aboard -- who stand for me as a model of everything good and possible in a world that takes the human heart, and the God of that heart, seriously. In my various explorations within the worlds of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, and psychiatry, I have simply never before seen such profound healing."

Homosexuality Is not a phenomenon and has been rejected by Islam and other world religions as a perversion and a sin. Yet whereas in the past those who practiced homosexuality had mostly been either silent or marginalized, today they have gained wider acceptance and vocal support mostly due to sustained campaigning by gay rights groups to enhance their image and spread their appeal.

when a person is looking for a spouse, such a person should feel an attraction to somebody of a similar background and culture and age. Such is the way that Allah created us – a man is attracted to the natural beauty of a woman. And that is why in the past, for thousands of years, our own fathers, and forefathers before them, did not emphasize external beauty to even a fraction of what we do, and yet it can be argued, merely by looking at their divorce rates, that their marriages were far more successful than ours. The whole emphasis on external beauty was simply unnatural to them. All of you know how your own parents and grandparents got married, and their grandparents before them. The groom comes, sees the bride, and, generally speaking, there is an attraction and the marriage takes place. Nowadays, on the other hand, the very notion of a pre-arranged marriage is a mockery that we would not subjugate ourselves to (and I am not suggesting here that we should – I'm merely pointing out how things have changed in just one generation). This emphasis that we have on 'beauty' and 'compatibility' is a very modern phenomenon. Of course I'm not suggesting that people in the past did not care about beauty, but what I am saying is that it was not anywhere near as emphasized as it is now. Also, since the generations before us were raised in environments where they were not subjected to the sight of sexual images everywhere, they would not compare their prospective spouses to the sensual images of world-famous models that have been seared into our heads as a result of our upbringing here. When we expect our spouses to look like the most beautiful/handsome people on Earth (and it must be pointed out that most pictures we see are not even real, having been digitally altered to look super-humanly sexy), this will only lead to trouble.And so, when we have been bombarded with sexual images all the time, that which is naturally lustful loses its erotic nature. This then leads to being attracted to unnatural attractions. The bar for 'sexual titillation' rises higher and higher. It also explains certain sexual habits that are becoming more predominant between couples.

As traditional and religion-based arguments opposing homosexuality are getting sidelined and ridiculed as outdated by its secular supporters, debates are now taking place at the scientific, social, and political fronts. This special coverage tackles the issue on all these fronts and probes how modern society and individuals are dealing with this old problem

While no one consciously chooses to have homosexual feelings, there is nothing that indicates they are biologically determined to be forever homosexual. We will not arrogantly say that biology has absolutely no bearing on a vulnerability to homosexuality. However, even researchers agree that while there may be biological influences, they do not obligate a person to be homosexual. Just because the stage is set doesn't require the play to be acted out.

There are subtle messages behind the thought of homosexuality being inborn. Many who hold the belief that homosexuality is biologically determined assume it is therefore both normal and moral. Let's suppose for a minute that homosexuality is indeed determined by genetics or some other biological factor. Simply because it is "natural" for the individual doesn't make it "normal." (Down's syndrome is just one example of this).

It is not sound logic to make the assumption that if someone were born gay then it is wrong for religions to prohibit homosexual behavior. Most people will not argue against religious admonitions against drunkenness or violence, yet modern science has found genetic factors in these behaviors. Why would we want to elevate this particular issue over others? Religions do not require anything more from a person dealing with homosexuality then they do for anyone else - becoming what we by nature are not.

Try to repel these urges, do not act upon them, take immediate steps to get married, and throughout all of this, put your trust in God and continue making du'a to Him, and I pray that God makes your situation easy for you and blesses you in this life and the next.

Hope This article Is going to further be a public debate.It will allow the concerned Authorities to rise and shine and do the need Full.

Thank You For Reading This Article.God Bless you.

- Happy sachin

Can Gay Relationships Last?

A common opinion is that gay relationships are less permanent than straight ones... but do or should we aspire towards having committed lifelong relationships? Openly gay Singaporean man Otto Fong shares his views in response to a recent article on Time.com.
“Couples, gay or straight, are not statistics and are not subject to what the majority of their groups do in studies and analyses. They are people who deserve the support and encouragement to succeed in their relationships and to have the best possible chance at a long and healthy life together.” - Chris Shultz

I wrote this in response to a Time.com article “Are Gay Relationships Different?” by John Cloud. He wrote the article after his first relationship of over seven years ended.
This article prompted some discussion amongst my Facebook friends about gay relationships. A common opinion is that gay relationships are less permanent, and that straight relationships are often successfully anchored by children. In that article published by Time.com, Cloud mused that if he was in a straight relationship, he would “almost certainly have had children” and his relationship would still be intact.

A Facebook friend commented that “death or heartbreak, all relationships come to an end eventually." So, he concluded that the “length of time as a yardstick for measuring the quality of a relationship would be a poor yardstick indeed.”
It is offensive to assume that many straight couples could only rely on their children to make their relationships work. It is offensive to childless straight couples. It is offensive to gay couples who never adopted and yet stayed together for decades.
It is also terribly unfair that one would compare relationships that ended by heartbreak, to relationships that ended with the death of a partner.

“What is the difference?” one might ask. After all, all relationships end one way or another!
The difference is simple: in one relationship, the partners made a vow. In the others, no vow was made. This is not to denigrate shorter relationships. Even short relationships teach us valuable lessons – and sometimes these lessons better inform us to cherish the next one. But, in short-term relationships, there is no commitment. Let’s stay together if we’re happy and it works for both of us. Once it stops working for either of us, let’s split. There’s nothing wrong with that.
In a committed relationship, a vow to love, respect and cherish each other is one that ends with “till death do us part”. It is a vow not to be taken lightly. It means that a partner vows to stay with another through thick and thin, riches and rags, in health and in sickness. My vow is to be with my partner when he contributes to our relationship. And my vow stands even when he is no longer able to contribute in certain ways (physical disability, aging complications). As long as he wants me around, and as long as I am capable of making decisions, I will be with him.

It’s interesting to note that in the Time.com article, the author used his own relationship as an example of a gay relationship that did not work out. Other than citing statistics that supported his point of view, he mentioned no other gay relationships – not even the ones that worked. It’s like someone who’d just climbed a hill and wrote about climbing Everest – without consulting a single Everest mountaineer. Personally, I have several gay couples who are together for over a decade or two, and are still going strong. And I know of a couple from America, Neal and John, who’d been together for 30 years.

While it is true that many gay relationships do not work out, it is also true that gay relationships often lacked the community, familial and societal support that straight relationships take for granted.
Also, Chris Shultz, a friend of mine, noted, “It seems that same-sex relationships haven't enjoyed the social support and approval for long enough to draw meaningful comparisons between same-sex and different-sex relationships and their relative success rates.

By: Aruzu Khan (Kariaz)

HOMOSEXUALITY: FACTS FOR TEENS

 WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HOMOSEXUAL?

A person is said to be homosexual if he or she is sexually or romantically attracted to members of the same gender, or sex. This doesn’t mean that homosexuals are sexually attracted to all members of the same gender any more than heterosexuals are sexually attracted to every person of the opposite sex. Typically, the words “gay” and “lesbian” are used to refer to homosexual men and women. The term “bisexual” refers to people who are attracted to both men and women.

Researchers who study human sexuality believe that sexual orientation develops and changes over a person’s lifetime. Having feelings about or even having a sexual experience with a person of the same sex doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is gay or bisexual. It’s not uncommon for people to experiment with their sexuality, especially during adolescence and young adulthood.

WHAT CAUSES HOMOSEXUALITY?

No one knows why some people are homosexual. Some people who study human sexuality believe that sexuality is a result of genetics, social or individual factors, alone or in combination. A common misperception is that troubled family relationships cause people to be homosexual, but no scientifically sound research supports this myth.

IS HOMOSEXUALITY A DISEASE?

No, homosexuality is not a disease. All major mental health organizations, including the American Psychological Association (APA), have stated that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. Being unsure or uncomfortable about your feelings can cause anxiety and stress, which can sometimes cause physical problems like trouble sleeping, nausea and headache. Talking with people about how you feel, such as trusted family members and friends, can help reduce your stress and anxiety.

Can people be forced or convinced to change from gay to straight or the other way around?
No. Some people feel pressured to "change" their sexuality, but trying to be something you're not can lead to stress, anxiety and depression.

WHAT IS HOMOPHOBIA?

Homophobia refers to an irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia is most often based on fear and ignorance.

I think I might be gay. How will I know if I really am?
You will eventually figure it out. You may consider different options or even experiment to determine what you are happy and comfortable with. The process may take a long time, and the decisions you make may be difficult for you and other people to accept.

WHAT DOES "COMING OUT" MEAN?

The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out. The phrase "in the closet" is sometimes used to describe a person who’s gay but who hasn’t acknowledged it yet to friends and family members.

HOW DO I COME OUT AND WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE?

As with any other personal information, when and whom you tell about your sexuality is your decision. It’s important and healthy for you to share your feelings with others. It’s also important to realize that telling others--even people you consider supportive--may not always be a positive experience. If you feel you can’t tell your parents, talk to a friend or someone else you trust. It’s possible that the people who are closest to you already know and are waiting for you to be comfortable enough to talk about it.

By : Rammit Rockin