Dealing With Homosexuality : Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh

Gяσωιиg υρ ιs ∂ємαи∂ιиg αи∂ cЋαℓℓєиgιиg
ŧαsк ƒσя єνєяy α∂σℓєscєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ αsρє¢ŧ ƒσямιиg σиє's sєxυαℓ ι∂єиŧιŧy. αℓℓ ¢Ћιℓ∂яєи єxρℓσяє αи∂ єxρєяιмєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ sєxυαℓℓy αs ραяŧ σƒ иσямαℓ ∂єvєℓσρмєиŧ. ŧЋιs sєxυαℓ вєЋαvισυя мαy вє ωιŧЋ мємвєяs σƒ ŧЋє sαмє σя σρρσsιŧє sєx. ƒσя мαиy α∂σℓєscєиŧs, ŧЋιикιиg αвσυŧ αи∂ / σя єxρєяιмєиŧιиg ωιŧЋ ŧЋє sαмє sєx мαy ¢αυsє ¢σи¢єяиs αи∂ αиxιєŧy яєgαя∂ιиg ŧЋєιя sєxυαℓ σяιєиŧαŧισи. ƒσя σŧЋєяs, єvєи ŧЋσυgЋŧs σя ƒαиŧαsιєs мαy ¢αυsє αиxιєŧy.

Homosexuality is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression. Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures. Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped
some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.
Parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder. The cause(s) of homosexuality are not fully understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words, individuals have no more choice about being homosexual than heterosexual. All teenagers do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation. Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or lesbian, teens still have many concerns. 

These include: 

* feeling different from peers;

* feeling guilty about their sexual orientation;

* worrying about the response from their
families and loved ones;

* being teased and ridiculed by their peers;

* worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;

* fearing discrimination when joining clubs,
sports, seeking admission to college, and finding
employment;

* being rejected and harassed by others.

Gay and lesbian teens can become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression. Parents and others need to be alert to these signs of distress because recent studies show that gay/lesbian youth account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.
It is important for parents to understand their teen's homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support. Parents often have difficulty accepting their teen's homosexuality for some of the same reasons that the youngster wants to keep it secret. Gay or lesbian adolescents should
be allowed to decide when and to whom to disclose their homosexuality. Parents and other family members may gain understanding and support from organizations such as Parents,
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG).

- Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh

Dealing With Homosexuality : Mo N Ey

Osho on Homosexuality- Accept whosoever you are. No condemnation

Question - Dear Osho, today you spoke of homosexuality and let us laugh at the idea of all men walking arm-in-arm through the streets and calling each other 'darling' laughter is good, of course, but sometimes it has an edge of mockery. As a Gay person, I felt put down at that moment. Please will you talk about how gay people or blacks or jews or any other minority may receive and accept such laughter.

Osho - Pradipam, You are not the only gay person here. We have many gay guys, and many lesbian ladies too. This is a miniature world -- I have all kinds of people here; my garden contains all kinds of flowerings, all kinds of plants. It is less a garden, more a jungle. And I accept all -- wild plants and all. Everybody is welcome.

Why did only you become disturbed? There are very famous gay guys here. In fact, I never knew, Pradipam, that you were also one of them. Why did you become disturbed? Why has nobody else taken any offence? They have learnt to accept -- because that is my whole teaching! Accept whosoever you are. No condemnation, no judgement, no evaluation. If you are a homosexual, so what?! Enjoy it! God has made you that way. That is his way of expressing himself through you. And there have been great homosexuals -- from Socrates onwards.

If you look at the long history of homosexuals, you will be surprised: they have had better company than the heterosexuals. In fact, great talented poets, painters, musicians, artists -- all had a tendency towards homosexuality. There is something in it, and that something has to be understood -- why artists, painters and poets? Because these are the inventive people -- they are never satisfied with things as they find them; they try to do new things.

Now, heterosexuality is a natural phenomenon; it is simply a given fact. The inventive people start trying new ways to relate; they are imaginative. Just falling in love again and again with a woman or with a man seems to be routine. They would like to try some new experiments. These are the people who have invented homosexuality. They are inventors.
And some have gone even a little further ahead: they have become bisexuals. Now the bisexual thinks the homosexual is a little behind. The bisexual is more fluid -- can adjust with a woman, can adjust with a man. He has far more opportunities of love-making. He will never be starved; he can always find a lover, a beloved.


You must be feeling guilty somehow deep down; that's why you became offended. Otherwise, you would have laughed and enjoyed the joke. And, in fact, I am not responsible for saying those words -- guess who is responsible?... And I don't think you can guess. The Pope!

The Pope went on a journey to the Holy Land. On the last day he went to the Mountain of Calvary and said his prayers. He walked down the hill looking very holy and solemn with his incense-bowl swinging from his hand. A homosexual who had been watching him from a distance came up to the Pope, pulled very gently at his sleeve and said, "Hello, darling, your handbag is on fire."

I got that idea from the Pope. But, Pradipam, please don't be offended -- I am not against anybody. Blacks or Jews or homosexuals -- I am not against anybody. My whole message is one of total acceptance. But I don't invent these jokes: my sannyasins go on sending them to me. So if you have some jokes against heterosexuals, please send them to me. Just whatsoever jokes I receive, I use.

Sometimes a few women have written letters to me saying, "Your jokes are always against women." What can I do? Send me jokes against men! I have no interest in inventing jokes -- people go on sending me them. Send any kind of joke and I will use it.
But this guilty feeling is not good. Deep down you are feeling as if you are doing something wrong -- that's why it hurts. You have a wound inside; you may have covered it, but the wound is there. And if you understand me, uncover the wound. Only when you uncover it can it be healed. Let the sun heal it and the wind heal it. Uncover it!

It is perfectly right, whatsoever you are. It is NOBODY else's business. If two men feel good being together, it is nobody else's business to interfere. No law, no government, no religion, no church, should come in. If they BOTH are happy, it is perfectly their own decision. And we want the world to be happy -- and these two persons are contributing their happiness to the world by being happy together.

If two women feel good being with each other, the world is happier for that, better for that. Don't make them feel guilty unnecessarily. But guilt persists -- because down the ages you have been taught homosexuality is a sin; down the ages you have been taught that this is one of the greatest sins. You may be surprised to know: there have been states in America, just a hundred years ago, where the punishment for homosexuality was sentence for life. And there have been countries where one was beheaded if one was caught in any homosexual relationship. Humanity has been so stupid in the past. And we ALL carry those conditionings deep down in the collective unconscious.

A ventriloquist -- maybe it was Sarvesh -- was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he would have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the farmer. "Sam," he shouted, "those animals are talking! If that little sheep says anything about me, it is a damned lie!"

That's how guilt comes up. You cannot hide it -- it has its way of manifesting. You condemn your homosexuality -- that's how your question has arisen. Otherwise, you would have laughed, you would have enjoyed it! And unless a man is capable of laughing at himself, he does not know what laughter is and the beauty of laughter. To laugh at others is very simple; it is violent, it is cruel. To laugh at oneself has something spiritual about it. But we go on hiding behind rationalizations.

Now you think the homosexual minority is being offended. One thing you should know: I am neither a heterosexual, nor a homosexual, nor a bisexual -- so I cannot be against this and for that. I belong no more to the world of sex. Sex has no more meaning -- that's why I can accept you all.

Your so-called saints will not be capable of accepting you all, because they belong to the world of sex; they themselves are sexual beings still -- repressed, obsessed, maybe against, but to be against means you are still obsessed. I am neither for nor against, neither for this nor for that. It simply does not matter! It is simply games that people enjoy playing -- it is fun, that's all. It has nothing serious about it. It is childish. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, all is childish.

One day I hope you will grow beyond all these. And then a totally different phenomenon happens: in the East we have called it BRAHMACHARYA. The West has no equivalent word for it -- because in the West consciousness has never penetrated to that height. The word 'celibacy' is a poor translation, and with ugly connotations.

'Celibacy' simply means not getting involved in sex; it is a negative word. The celibate may not be beyond sex; he may be simply withholding. BRAHMACHARYA actually means: living like a God. The literal meaning is: living like God. What does it mean? -- living like God. It means sex has simply disappeared: that smoke no more surrounds the flame of your being; your flame of being is smokeless. And when sex has utterly disappeared, the whole energy that is contained in sexuality is released in love, in compassion.

But by feeling offended, you exposed yourself. In a way this is good. Don't feel guilty any more. And it is always good to expose yourself in utter nudity. Don't be afraid, because that is the only way to, know oneself -- to expose oneself.

According to legend, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung once travelled together on a train, and during the journey Jung began to analyse Freud, probing deeper and deeper into the man's psyche in an attempt to pinpoint the origin of his neurosis. Freud was being his evasive self, so when Jung came to within a hairbreadth of Freud's essence, he asked impatiently for Freud to reveal his innermost being, his true, real self.
"I cannot," Freud refused. "To do so would be to give up my authority."
At that, Jung sat back and sighed, "Then you have already lost it."

The real man is always ready to expose himself to the very core, because he is not afraid. Freud saying this, "I cannot expose my real self because to do so would be to give up my authority," is simply saying that he is carrying a pseudo self around himself. He carried it his whole life -- although he was the originator of psychoanalysis he was never psychoanalysed. Many times his disciples approached him and said, "We can psychoanalyse you," but he always refused. He was afraid.

This legend is very symbolic -- he was afraid to expose himself as he was. And the fear was of losing authority. But a REAL man of authority is never afraid of losing it. He CANNOT lose it. There is NO way of losing it. And this is the difference between a man of authority and an authoritative man. The authoritative man has NO real authority; he is a pretender. The man of authority can expose himself absolutely, because his authority is not something imposed from the outside -- it is his very core, his experience, his authenticity. Jung did well when he sat back and said, Then you have already lost it."

It is said, from that day the rift started between Jung and Freud; then it could not be bridged again. And I cannot say that only Jung was responsible for the rift; in fact, basically Freud himself was responsible. Freud was suffering from many kinds of things which can be called neurotic. Still he would not allow himself to be analysed.

My whole work here is to help you to expose yourself in your utter nudity. Whatsoever you are, wherever you are, I am going to seek and search you out and bring you into the light. Sometimes it hurts, it shocks; sometimes you feel angry, offended, but please be patient. This is surgery -- it is bound to be painful.

- Mo N Ey

Dealing With Homosexuality : NIrmaan HAlf HEarted

Letter to my mom,

Dear mom,
when i born u loved me like anything as i grown up my habits start involving in girls that also didnot mind ur motherhood.
Than i grown up and be an establish man then also your motherhood didnot affected.
You told me to marry a girl you want. I deny, but your motherhood still didnot affected.
You always give me shoulder to cry, hand to raise , shadow in sunlight, give sight to drowning me.
But, now when i accepted towards you that what am i , where your motherhood gone.
You and daddy both force me to think like straight , to marry a girl , not to be friend with boys .
This is not what i listened about mothers and motherhood , i think people and infact you prefer the sexuality instead of humanity .....~€~

dhaash, i think its not your fault . The society and people make you to think like that to think like that i am ill person and it is my choice to be with man or woman.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you are letting me to get out from house. Your motherhood never obliged you when you were watching me beaten by dad.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you were locking me in the room.
Where is your love, your affection, your MOTHERHOOD.
So, for this now a better salute to this world . Hope you 'd understand me that i never do this..
Bbye mom .. I am quiting the world.
But, my last world...
`GOD don't make me GAY in my next birth `
your son
niru :[

- NIrmaan HAlf HEarted

Dealing With Homosexuality : Fioravandi Pietro Fleming

Being Gay is a journey that has been destined for you even prior to your birth, Its is not something you can go out and purchase over a counter or stand under the stars on a starry night and make a wish by saying..." I wish to be gay".

For me it has been an incredible journey with many pitfalls but it was entirely up to me to stand by whom I am and above all believe in who I am. It is vitally important for all of us to realize that nobody but nobody can bring you happiness and contentment but YOU!!! From a very tender age I realized that I had different feelings within my in comparison to the other boys in our neighborhood. I wanted to do entirely different things to them. This , of course, in self posed a problem. Hence, i moved into a world of fantasy whereby I could lose myself and be "happy". This spared me insults and nastiness from my friends. Living in the real world at that age was already difficult.

In my adolescent years the struggle started. My siblings realized that their brother was different and started avoiding me. Tears became my everyday companion and I must admit gave me tons of relief. My high school years were absolutely hell!!!! I was the outcast in more ways than...but this did not deter me from being whom I am. I was stoned (and it hurt more emotionally than it did physically). Looking back, today I can smile because at the end of the day I did not betray myself. I pushed through to the bitter end.

I got engaged in my early twenties when I started my Nursing career. This was to blend in with the rest of society. I in actual fact I was running away from the truth because I was in a new city where no-one knew me. That year of being engaged was hell, not for her but for me. I was living a lie and that did not rest well with me at all. Not going into great detail the engagement ended and I could sigh with relief...I was free from my lies. There is a saying in the English language......THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE" Boy It surely did it for me. To this day i am still on very good terms with her. That is indeed a Bonus for me. The drama with my family was lengthy and very bitter. That is is story on its own!!! I endured their insults, beatings as well, from time to time. I still would not budge..".I AM GAY". I was cursed, avoided, slandered...yet I bore my cross with a smile. "To Him who waits. it shall be given" My wait for acceptance was long and tedious....but it eventually arrived . Today my entire family loves me for whom I am and my perseverance. Having a relationship in the gay world is no different to the straight world, a relationship between two people, irrespective of their sexual orientation is a way of life and presents with every day problems e.g. the insecurities, jealousy, betrayal, nastiness etc. I learnt vastly from my relationships( had one for 8 years and for 18 years). My gay relationships gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of responsibility, and the experience of being loved. Today I am at peace and very content. I refuse to be a bitter person because of the manner of how I was treated as a Gay man. We have walked a long difficult road so that the younger generation can live is a society where there is no discrimination between the sexual orientation of people.

Shakespeare clearly stated" And above all things unto thine own self be TRUE". Have the determination to believe in yourself irrespective of the hassles society places on you. My tale is one of many that is known to many other gay men and I know they will identify identify with me.

For all my bitter experiences I have a broad smile on my face and can say"The journey was worth my persecution!!!!

-  Fioravandi Pietro Fleming

Dealing With Homosexuality : Roy Adi

Homosexuality........!!!!!!!

homosexuality means to have attraction towards the same sex. is it wrong ? if yes so why it is wrong ? i don't think that it is wrong. love is like a bird. it can fly in the sky any where. with his own friends or with other animals and many more. i mean to say that love is blind it could be with an one weather with the same sex or with the other sex. when a baby is in his mothers womb the mother loves him/her instead of knowing weather it is a male or female or gay or anything else. that is love. i don't think being homosexual is a crime we all are also human beings so why the society discriminates us ? why we are afraid of telling it to any one ? why? why? why?
this is not fare at all....

Dealing with homosexuality is a topic which seriously does not have any end. its an endless topic and its very difficult too. a person who is a man but loves a man........!!

Such a great topic to gossip for others. nobody thinks what he is feeling. nobody wants to keep himself at his place and think according to him. nobody is with him. finally it results in depression, loneliness,lack of self confidence etc. but why ? because the world is full of ego. of any 1 is two steps ahead of him he will pull down him by doing any thing. without thinking what will be its result. i am the live example of it. when people wants anything from it i do everything for them but when it is my turn they show me a huge thumb. in the race when ii am with them then its fine but when i am 2 steps ahead they pull me down by abusing me or making fun of my homosexuality. its a very difficult task to be a homosexual person. just hiding the matter that i am homosexual from the world is too difficult. in every moment, in every path of life i have to suffer with the abusing of others, suckling words, shamefulness and all. but on the other hand little little moments i love to keep which gives me respects. a life of dignity, one more chance to explore the world, one more chance to live. hmmmmm at the same time its very difficult to share your feelings to any one, to get a life partner. and if i got then again a problem.... if anyone came to know about what will happen ? how would be i able to stay in the society ? people would laugh at me....!!! why society....?? its my life society will not live it . why they want to kill my dreams ? why the society don't want to accept it ? society society society........!!!!!! this is the matter.

so at last i jst want to say that it is really very difficult to be homosexual. there is a line in hindi " bhagvan ne jo b is duniya m bnaya hai soch smjh kr hi bnaya hai " then why we are not accepting the creation of god.

thank u all for reading.......
luv u we 4 u.........

- Roy Adi

Dealing With Homosexuality : Ved Roy

Homosexual/gay/story/incident/scientific terms/google.....zizzz

from the time I read about the topic on the wall of WE4YOU,am thinking on it from then.I asked Arnab -"what should I write".He told me -"whatever you want to". What does it mean- I said to myself and I again read the post"the

article should be short". Short well this topic is so diverse and complex, if I would write a novel on it,that also would not justify the topic. 

 

So I thought why not think "Out of box" and I ran to mother and asked how she deals with us. She said chopping the vegetables as god with little devils.Then I
called my friend and asked how he deals with his girlfriend.He said -"as Manmohan Singh deals with Mamta and other allies",I thought I touched the wrong chord so I disconnected the line.So here I am more confused than earlier how I deal with my homosexuality. Should I scream on road/or bang
my head or do what.Is it a bad luck...that I am homosexual.I am a lonely guy,I want somebody to love,I am so depressed.Then suddenly my mother came and switch on the light come outside see a baby bird is doing something.I came out and see a baby bird just out of shell trying to fly and repeatedly was falling down from branch and was trying again.At the same time I realized is not am in same situation also trying to deal with my homosexuality.But hey do I have to deal with it.I mean
that small bird also know it has to learn to fly and I also have to learn to make it a part of my life.Then why think on it which is of no use.Does my homosexuality help me if I dont perform in my work/or is it a hindrance if i travel on road.NO nobody cares for it.

 

Millions walk on earth and nobody has time to see you are homosexual or not.Then why I have to deal with it.Like my body features its part of my life.I cannot do away with it,so its fine.I am not walking with written on my head am a sad homosexual.Why should I ?

So am not dealing with but am living with it my indefinite dreams of my life.I know its not clear but hey friends in life its not necessary to be every time clear.Like I said its my life and I am living with it.

 

- Ved Roy

Dealing With Homosexuality : Jim Clifford

I did everything in my life, as a good boy, and after high school went to college and made 99% marks. As I said, I did everything very well but tackle the thought of my sexuality. I excelled in everything I had done, even took 4 years of private lessons in songwriting and music theory from a magnificent teacher... I still write and play today....

I felt I knew nothing about my sexuality. Though in my subconscious I knew something was different. I did not want to be exculpated from those around me...... So I did everything else I could in my life, tackling every aspect except my sexuality...

So I became a good songwriter, I graduated college, and entered my career, and then it happened.

I was in my neighborhood supermarket, in the produce section, imagine that, of course, and Ronny came up to me and asked may I help you? We engaged in a simple nice conversation, he asked if I would have lunch. I said Yes. I lived two blocks away, we had a nice luncheon in my apartment, and he left back to work. Then I noticed he left his jacket.

A day later, he called and said "I left my jacket, may I come and pick it up?"

He then asked me if I would like to go out with him.... I said yes.... not knowing what to expect.

In those days, the gay clubs were exclusive and members only, and he took me to every club in West Hollywood. We danced, we had a good time, it was bliss.

Then it happened that we made love one night, and it was heaven, my first time... oh I fell in love that night.... no details needed here, just to say it was heaven....

I immediately called my family and friends and said I was in love, and the response was yes, with whom? I said with a BOY named Ronny. Oh? Mama said she always knew, she loved me and she loved me and always wanted me to be happy. Sister had a lot of questions... my brother had no questions just said he loved me... my other sister said I know my dear brother, I love you.

We had a torrid love affair for three months. Ronny took me to all the best clubs, and I was so excited to be in these places, it was so comfortable... so many kinds of people, every ethnicity, every culture and guys from many countries... yet all I could see is that they were all gay... my people....!

Three months, it ended. I was devastated. I cried, walking home for 2 miles in the rain... I was crying hard, but the rain hid my tears..... I was so crushed.... I cried the whole night....

The days passed, and I was able to go to the clubs Ronny invited me to, and I met new friends who were gay. I had not known a gay person before Ronny. The music was wonderful, I met new friends, and I felt my life had finally started....

I never thought I was in the closet as I had announced to my family and friends as soon as I had my first boyfriend. I lost half my friends. No matter here... I kept all of my family.

From then I have felt forever free, to be myself, my family and remaining friends loved me, no matter how I was, for I was born this way....

I did meet up with Ronny again, and we had remained good friends for many years until he moved away.... there were no bad feelings, only a love of friendship.... and in my heart I have always been thankful for his love and friendship with me...

It's been a long journey, it did not happen overnight, but it took years for me to be comfortable to say YES I AM GAY... and please,my family, if you have to vote on gay marriage, think of me, your sweet cousin, nephew, grandson, son, I AM GAY, think of me and think of how I want to live my life.... FREEEEEEEEEEE.... free to marry the one I love.... free to be me........

Now years ahead, my family loves me dearly and I am the favored "son" though my mama and grandma are in heaven. I am still the favored one.... they love me dearly... and they wish the most happiness for me... to find my love and to live my life with abandonment of conventions and love freely... and now at my age I have found my true love after all these years that I have waited....for so very long, for the one.... and finally I am free....

Bless all my brothers... I love you all dearly... keep the faith, keep true to your values and wishes... your desire for true love... for it will happen...

- Jim Clifford