Monday, 7 May 2012
Dealing With Homosexuality : Shahid Grewal
Dosto me Shahid aur ye meri story hai tabki jab me apne orientation ke bare me open hua tha mere doston ke samne….
13august 2007ko me Mumbai aaya tha engineer banana ke liye.Mujhe frnds
banana bahot pasand tha isliye jaldi hi achhe dost ban gaye…Hamara ek
group ban gaya 6girls and 5boys total 11… Bahot enjoy karte the hum,sath
me ghumna,khelna,padhna,lectures bunk karna.Mere frnds meri life ban
gaye the aisa kabhi laga hi nahi ki Mumbai me mera koi relative nahi
hai.
Par wahi hua jo har group me hota hai,jhagda aur woh bhi ladki ko lekar..Hamara last year tha december 2010
Pratik mere group ka ek ladka woh Puja se pyar karne laga.Puja bhi
hamare group me hi thi.Puja mujhe uska best frnd kehti thi aur apni sari
bate share karti thi,woh bhi Pratik ko pyar karti thi par mere sath
jyada time bitati thi bcz humdono ka ghar paas me hi tha.Bas isi wajah
se clg me Hamare charche hona shuru hogaya aur Pratik bhi humdono pe
shaq karne laga.Undono ke jhagde badhne lage.Puja mujhe best frnd manti
thi to Pratik mera best frnd tha.Use meri wajah se badi taklif hoti,woh
mujhse nafrat karne laga tha use lagta me Puja se pyar karta hu isliye
me undono me janbujhkar jhagde lagata hu.Par me Gay hu ye baat mujhe 8th
std me hi pata chal gayi thi isliye me nahi chahta thi ki meri wajah se
dono ka relation tute.Maine pratik ko bahot samjhaya par woh kuch sunne
ko tayar nahi tha isliye maine decide kiya ki me inko sab sach bata
dunga so tht woh samajh jaye aur unki misundrstnding dur hokar sab thik
hojaye.Maine socha ye 10mere best frnds hai fir inhe koi fark nahi
padega mere sexual orientation se.Isliye maine ek din Pratik ko bata
diya ki me Puja se pyar nahi karta kyunki me Gay hu,ye sunkar woh waha
se uthke chala gaya aur usne pure group members ko msg karke bata diya
even Puja too.Aur tabse meri life worst hogayi.
Mere doston ne mera
sath chhod diya..koi mujhse nafrat karta,kisiko mujhe dekhke ghinn aati
to koi has ke chala jata.Puja meri best frnd usne mujhse baat karna band
kar diya,Kisi ladke ko galti se bhi touch hojata to woh gandi gandi
baate bolte,ab mere sath koi tiffin share nahi karta tha,koi mere sath
class me ek bench pe nahi baithta,bolte the ki tu to mujhpe try maara
to…ye baate mujhe bahot hurt karti,unka behavior dard pohochata..par
phir limit cross hogayi mere kuch so called best frnds mere paas aakar
bole “Shahid ye gay kuch nahi hota tu confused hai…tum ek kaam kar” aur
unhone mujhe solutions batana shuru kar diya,
1.tu psychologist ke pas ja bcz ye ek mental disorder hai.
2.tu mere sath bazaar me chal n ladki ke sath sex kar fir tujhe pata chal jayega ki tu gay nahi hai.
3.tu ye me gay hu sochna band kar de agar tu ye sab chhodke kisi ladki
ko gf banayega tab hum tujhse dosti karenge otherwise not.
That was limit so maine unhe bataya ki gay matlab sirf sex nahi hota woh
sari feelings hoti hai jo ek ladka ladki ke liye feel karta hai,ye koi
disorder nahi jo medicine se thik hojaye,aur tum mere dost ho aur Gay
meri identity hai me apni identity kaise chod sakta hu aur me tumhe bhi
nahi chodna chahta isliye plz mujhe meri identity ke sath apnao….ye
sunkar sab gusse se chale gaye.me disappoint hogaya ki 21st century ke
Mumbai me rehne wale logon ki ye mentality? Weird tha…tabse unhone
mujhse baat karna band kar diya..ab har jagah me akela
tha,classrooms,canteen,library
Aaj me akela hu, sabki bahot yaad aati
hai bura lagta hai ki unhe meri kabhi yaad nahi aati,kya gay hona itni
badi baat hai jo woh meri 4saaal ki frndship bhul gaye…Dard hota hai aur
lagta hai ki ‘kaash unhone meri sachhai se jyada meri imandari dekhi
hoti,mere sexual orientation se jyada mere nature aur behavior ko
importance diya hota,mere sexual choice jyada mere dosti me believe kiya
hota…’ Jiske liye maine apni identity reveil ki woh Pratik n Puja aaj
ek happy couple hai aur shayad shadi bhi kar lenge,woh mujhe,mere
sacrifies ko yaad nahi karte par me khush hu ki mera balidan vyarth nahi
gaya…
Aaj maine sochke rakha hai agar koi mera dost banna chahta
hai to use mujhe mere identity ke sath swikarna hoga aur yahi sochkar me
fb pe aaya apni tanhaai ke sath aur yaha mujhe bahot khubsoorat dost
mile isliye me fb ka shukragujar hu…Aur ab lagta hai agar hum hi apne
identity se sharmate rahenge to log to use bura hi manenge kyunki hamari
madat hame khud karni hai aur koi nahi aayega…jab hum apne aap pe proud
feel karne lagenge tabhi log hume notice karne lagenge aur shayad ekdin
hum ye jung jeet jayenge..
Aur lagta hai shayad ek din mere dost
samajh jayenge ki straight aur gay ko banana wala ek hi hai to hum agar
use nafrat nahi karte to gay se kyu kare….aur shayad ekdin Pratik aur
Puja mujhe jarur call karenge apni shadi pe bulane ke liye……)))))))
Aaj me ek baat samajh gaya hu ki jo apne aap ki respect nahi karta uski
duniya respect nahi karti…Isliye dosto jab apne aapko mirror me dekho to
sharmindagi nahi garv karo gay hone pe… Kyunki hum bhi Insaan hai aur
hame bhi respectfull life jine ka haq hai………
- Shahid Grewal
Dealing With Homosexuality : Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh
Gяσωιиg υρ ιs ∂ємαи∂ιиg αи∂ cЋαℓℓєиgιиg
ŧαsк ƒσя єνєяy α∂σℓєscєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ αsρє¢ŧ ƒσямιиg σиє's sєxυαℓ
ι∂єиŧιŧy. αℓℓ ¢Ћιℓ∂яєи єxρℓσяє αи∂ єxρєяιмєиŧ. σиє ιмρσяŧαиŧ sєxυαℓℓy αs
ραяŧ σƒ иσямαℓ ∂єvєℓσρмєиŧ. ŧЋιs sєxυαℓ вєЋαvισυя мαy вє ωιŧЋ мємвєяs
σƒ ŧЋє sαмє σя σρρσsιŧє sєx. ƒσя мαиy α∂σℓєscєиŧs, ŧЋιикιиg αвσυŧ αи∂ /
σя єxρєяιмєиŧιиg ωιŧЋ ŧЋє sαмє sєx мαy ¢αυsє ¢σи¢єяиs αи∂ αиxιєŧy
яєgαя∂ιиg ŧЋєιя sєxυαℓ σяιєиŧαŧισи. ƒσя σŧЋєяs, єvєи ŧЋσυgЋŧs σя
ƒαиŧαsιєs мαy ¢αυsє αиxιєŧy.
Homosexuality is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression. Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures. Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped
some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.
Parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder. The cause(s) of homosexuality are not fully understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words, individuals have no more choice about being homosexual than heterosexual. All teenagers do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation. Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or lesbian, teens still have many concerns.
These include:
* feeling different from peers;
* feeling guilty about their sexual orientation;
* worrying about the response from their
families and loved ones;
* being teased and ridiculed by their peers;
* worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;
* fearing discrimination when joining clubs,
sports, seeking admission to college, and finding
employment;
* being rejected and harassed by others.
Gay and lesbian teens can become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression. Parents and others need to be alert to these signs of distress because recent studies show that gay/lesbian youth account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.
It is important for parents to understand their teen's homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support. Parents often have difficulty accepting their teen's homosexuality for some of the same reasons that the youngster wants to keep it secret. Gay or lesbian adolescents should
be allowed to decide when and to whom to disclose their homosexuality. Parents and other family members may gain understanding and support from organizations such as Parents,
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG).
- Ïshqzääðä Shîvâm Sîñgh
Dealing With Homosexuality : Mo N Ey
Osho on Homosexuality- Accept whosoever you are. No condemnation
Question - Dear Osho, today you spoke of homosexuality and let us laugh
at the idea of all men walking arm-in-arm through the streets and
calling each other 'darling' laughter is good, of course, but sometimes
it has an edge of mockery. As a Gay person, I felt put down at that
moment. Please will you talk about how gay people or blacks or jews or
any other minority may receive and accept such laughter.
Osho -
Pradipam, You are not the only gay person here. We have many gay guys,
and many lesbian ladies too. This is a miniature world -- I have all
kinds of people here; my garden contains all kinds of flowerings, all
kinds of plants. It is less a garden, more a jungle. And I accept all --
wild plants and all. Everybody is welcome.
Why did only you
become disturbed? There are very famous gay guys here. In fact, I never
knew, Pradipam, that you were also one of them. Why did you become
disturbed? Why has nobody else taken any offence? They have learnt to
accept -- because that is my whole teaching! Accept whosoever you are.
No condemnation, no judgement, no evaluation. If you are a homosexual,
so what?! Enjoy it! God has made you that way. That is his way of
expressing himself through you. And there have been great homosexuals --
from Socrates onwards.
If you look at the long history of
homosexuals, you will be surprised: they have had better company than
the heterosexuals. In fact, great talented poets, painters, musicians,
artists -- all had a tendency towards homosexuality. There is something
in it, and that something has to be understood -- why artists, painters
and poets? Because these are the inventive people -- they are never
satisfied with things as they find them; they try to do new things.
Now, heterosexuality is a natural phenomenon; it is simply a given
fact. The inventive people start trying new ways to relate; they are
imaginative. Just falling in love again and again with a woman or with a
man seems to be routine. They would like to try some new experiments.
These are the people who have invented homosexuality. They are
inventors.
And some have gone even a little further ahead: they have
become bisexuals. Now the bisexual thinks the homosexual is a little
behind. The bisexual is more fluid -- can adjust with a woman, can
adjust with a man. He has far more opportunities of love-making. He will
never be starved; he can always find a lover, a beloved.
You must be feeling guilty somehow deep down; that's why you became
offended. Otherwise, you would have laughed and enjoyed the joke. And,
in fact, I am not responsible for saying those words -- guess who is
responsible?... And I don't think you can guess. The Pope!
The
Pope went on a journey to the Holy Land. On the last day he went to the
Mountain of Calvary and said his prayers. He walked down the hill
looking very holy and solemn with his incense-bowl swinging from his
hand. A homosexual who had been watching him from a distance came up to
the Pope, pulled very gently at his sleeve and said, "Hello, darling,
your handbag is on fire."
I got that idea from the Pope. But,
Pradipam, please don't be offended -- I am not against anybody. Blacks
or Jews or homosexuals -- I am not against anybody. My whole message is
one of total acceptance. But I don't invent these jokes: my sannyasins
go on sending them to me. So if you have some jokes against
heterosexuals, please send them to me. Just whatsoever jokes I receive, I
use.
Sometimes a few women have written letters to me saying,
"Your jokes are always against women." What can I do? Send me jokes
against men! I have no interest in inventing jokes -- people go on
sending me them. Send any kind of joke and I will use it.
But this
guilty feeling is not good. Deep down you are feeling as if you are
doing something wrong -- that's why it hurts. You have a wound inside;
you may have covered it, but the wound is there. And if you understand
me, uncover the wound. Only when you uncover it can it be healed. Let
the sun heal it and the wind heal it. Uncover it!
It is
perfectly right, whatsoever you are. It is NOBODY else's business. If
two men feel good being together, it is nobody else's business to
interfere. No law, no government, no religion, no church, should come
in. If they BOTH are happy, it is perfectly their own decision. And we
want the world to be happy -- and these two persons are contributing
their happiness to the world by being happy together.
If two
women feel good being with each other, the world is happier for that,
better for that. Don't make them feel guilty unnecessarily. But guilt
persists -- because down the ages you have been taught homosexuality is a
sin; down the ages you have been taught that this is one of the
greatest sins. You may be surprised to know: there have been states in
America, just a hundred years ago, where the punishment for
homosexuality was sentence for life. And there have been countries where
one was beheaded if one was caught in any homosexual relationship.
Humanity has been so stupid in the past. And we ALL carry those
conditionings deep down in the collective unconscious.
A
ventriloquist -- maybe it was Sarvesh -- was driving in the country when
he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As
he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he would have
some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand,
wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the farmer. "Sam," he
shouted, "those animals are talking! If that little sheep says anything
about me, it is a damned lie!"
That's how guilt comes up. You
cannot hide it -- it has its way of manifesting. You condemn your
homosexuality -- that's how your question has arisen. Otherwise, you
would have laughed, you would have enjoyed it! And unless a man is
capable of laughing at himself, he does not know what laughter is and
the beauty of laughter. To laugh at others is very simple; it is
violent, it is cruel. To laugh at oneself has something spiritual about
it. But we go on hiding behind rationalizations.
Now you think
the homosexual minority is being offended. One thing you should know: I
am neither a heterosexual, nor a homosexual, nor a bisexual -- so I
cannot be against this and for that. I belong no more to the world of
sex. Sex has no more meaning -- that's why I can accept you all.
Your so-called saints will not be capable of accepting you all, because
they belong to the world of sex; they themselves are sexual beings
still -- repressed, obsessed, maybe against, but to be against means you
are still obsessed. I am neither for nor against, neither for this nor
for that. It simply does not matter! It is simply games that people
enjoy playing -- it is fun, that's all. It has nothing serious about it.
It is childish. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, all is childish.
One day I hope you will grow beyond all these. And then a totally
different phenomenon happens: in the East we have called it
BRAHMACHARYA. The West has no equivalent word for it -- because in the
West consciousness has never penetrated to that height. The word
'celibacy' is a poor translation, and with ugly connotations.
'Celibacy' simply means not getting involved in sex; it is a negative
word. The celibate may not be beyond sex; he may be simply withholding.
BRAHMACHARYA actually means: living like a God. The literal meaning is:
living like God. What does it mean? -- living like God. It means sex has
simply disappeared: that smoke no more surrounds the flame of your
being; your flame of being is smokeless. And when sex has utterly
disappeared, the whole energy that is contained in sexuality is released
in love, in compassion.
But by feeling offended, you exposed
yourself. In a way this is good. Don't feel guilty any more. And it is
always good to expose yourself in utter nudity. Don't be afraid, because
that is the only way to, know oneself -- to expose oneself.
According to legend, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung once travelled together
on a train, and during the journey Jung began to analyse Freud, probing
deeper and deeper into the man's psyche in an attempt to pinpoint the
origin of his neurosis. Freud was being his evasive self, so when Jung
came to within a hairbreadth of Freud's essence, he asked impatiently
for Freud to reveal his innermost being, his true, real self.
"I cannot," Freud refused. "To do so would be to give up my authority."
At that, Jung sat back and sighed, "Then you have already lost it."
The real man is always ready to expose himself to the very core,
because he is not afraid. Freud saying this, "I cannot expose my real
self because to do so would be to give up my authority," is simply
saying that he is carrying a pseudo self around himself. He carried it
his whole life -- although he was the originator of psychoanalysis he
was never psychoanalysed. Many times his disciples approached him and
said, "We can psychoanalyse you," but he always refused. He was afraid.
This legend is very symbolic -- he was afraid to expose himself as he
was. And the fear was of losing authority. But a REAL man of authority
is never afraid of losing it. He CANNOT lose it. There is NO way of
losing it. And this is the difference between a man of authority and an
authoritative man. The authoritative man has NO real authority; he is a
pretender. The man of authority can expose himself absolutely, because
his authority is not something imposed from the outside -- it is his
very core, his experience, his authenticity. Jung did well when he sat
back and said, Then you have already lost it."
It is said, from
that day the rift started between Jung and Freud; then it could not be
bridged again. And I cannot say that only Jung was responsible for the
rift; in fact, basically Freud himself was responsible. Freud was
suffering from many kinds of things which can be called neurotic. Still
he would not allow himself to be analysed.
My whole work here
is to help you to expose yourself in your utter nudity. Whatsoever you
are, wherever you are, I am going to seek and search you out and bring
you into the light. Sometimes it hurts, it shocks; sometimes you feel
angry, offended, but please be patient. This is surgery -- it is bound
to be painful.
- Mo N Ey
Dealing With Homosexuality : NIrmaan HAlf HEarted
Letter to my mom,
Dear mom,
when i born u loved me like anything as i grown up my habits start involving in girls that also didnot mind ur motherhood.
Than i grown up and be an establish man then also your motherhood didnot affected.
You told me to marry a girl you want. I deny, but your motherhood still didnot affected.
You always give me shoulder to cry, hand to raise , shadow in sunlight, give sight to drowning me.
But, now when i accepted towards you that what am i , where your motherhood gone.
You and daddy both force me to think like straight , to marry a girl , not to be friend with boys .
This is not what i listened about mothers and motherhood , i think
people and infact you prefer the sexuality instead of humanity .....~€~
dhaash, i think its not your fault . The society and people make you to
think like that to think like that i am ill person and it is my choice
to be with man or woman.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you
are letting me to get out from house. Your motherhood never obliged you
when you were watching me beaten by dad.
Your motherhood never obliged you when you were locking me in the room.
Where is your love, your affection, your MOTHERHOOD.
So, for this now a better salute to this world . Hope you 'd understand me that i never do this..
Bbye mom .. I am quiting the world.
But, my last world...
`GOD don't make me GAY in my next birth `
your son
niru :[
- NIrmaan HAlf HEarted
Dealing With Homosexuality : Fioravandi Pietro Fleming
Being
Gay is a journey that has been destined for you even prior to your
birth, Its is not something you can go out and purchase over a counter
or stand under the stars on a starry night and make a wish by saying..."
I wish to be gay".
For me it has been an incredible journey
with many pitfalls but it was entirely up to me to stand by whom I am
and above all believe in who I am. It is vitally important for all of us
to realize that nobody but nobody can bring you happiness and
contentment but YOU!!! From a very tender age I realized that I had
different feelings within my in comparison to the other boys in our
neighborhood. I wanted to do entirely different things to them. This ,
of course, in self posed a problem. Hence, i moved into a world of
fantasy whereby I could lose myself and be "happy". This spared me
insults and nastiness from my friends. Living in the real world at that
age was already difficult.
In my adolescent years the struggle
started. My siblings realized that their brother was different and
started avoiding me. Tears became my everyday companion and I must admit
gave me tons of relief. My high school years were absolutely hell!!!! I
was the outcast in more ways than...but this did not deter me from
being whom I am. I was stoned (and it hurt more emotionally than it did
physically). Looking back, today I can smile because at the end of the
day I did not betray myself. I pushed through to the bitter end.
I got engaged in my early twenties when I started my Nursing career.
This was to blend in with the rest of society. I in actual fact I was
running away from the truth because I was in a new city where no-one
knew me. That year of being engaged was hell, not for her but for me. I
was living a lie and that did not rest well with me at all. Not going
into great detail the engagement ended and I could sigh with relief...I
was free from my lies. There is a saying in the English
language......THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE" Boy It surely did it for me.
To this day i am still on very good terms with her. That is indeed a
Bonus for me. The drama with my family was lengthy and very bitter. That
is is story on its own!!! I endured their insults, beatings as well,
from time to time. I still would not budge..".I AM GAY". I was cursed,
avoided, slandered...yet I bore my cross with a smile. "To Him who
waits. it shall be given" My wait for acceptance was long and
tedious....but it eventually arrived . Today my entire family loves me
for whom I am and my perseverance. Having a relationship in the gay
world is no different to the straight world, a relationship between two
people, irrespective of their sexual orientation is a way of life and
presents with every day problems e.g. the insecurities, jealousy,
betrayal, nastiness etc. I learnt vastly from my relationships( had one
for 8 years and for 18 years). My gay relationships gave me a sense of
belonging, a sense of responsibility, and the experience of being loved.
Today I am at peace and very content. I refuse to be a bitter person
because of the manner of how I was treated as a Gay man. We have walked a
long difficult road so that the younger generation can live is a
society where there is no discrimination between the sexual orientation
of people.
Shakespeare clearly stated" And above all things
unto thine own self be TRUE". Have the determination to believe in
yourself irrespective of the hassles society places on you. My tale is
one of many that is known to many other gay men and I know they will
identify identify with me.
For all my bitter experiences I have a broad smile on my face and can say"The journey was worth my persecution!!!!
- Fioravandi Pietro Fleming
Dealing With Homosexuality : Roy Adi
Homosexuality........!!!!!!!
homosexuality means to have attraction towards the same sex. is it
wrong ? if yes so why it is wrong ? i don't think that it is wrong. love
is like a bird. it can fly in the sky any where. with his own friends
or with other animals and many more. i mean to say that love is blind it
could be with an one weather with the same sex or with the
other sex. when a baby is in his mothers womb the mother loves him/her
instead of knowing weather it is a male or female or gay or anything
else. that is love. i don't think being homosexual is a crime we all are
also human beings so why the society discriminates us ? why we are
afraid of telling it to any one ? why? why? why?
this is not fare at all....
Dealing with homosexuality is a topic which seriously does not have any
end. its an endless topic and its very difficult too. a person who is a
man but loves a man........!!
Such a great topic to gossip for
others. nobody thinks what he is feeling. nobody wants to keep himself
at his place and think according to him. nobody is with him. finally it
results in depression, loneliness,lack of self confidence etc. but why ?
because the world is full of ego. of any 1 is two steps ahead of him he
will pull down him by doing any thing. without thinking what will be
its result. i am the live example of it. when people wants anything from
it i do everything for them but when it is my turn they show me a huge
thumb. in the race when ii am with them then its fine but when i am 2
steps ahead they pull me down by abusing me or making fun of my
homosexuality. its a very difficult task to be a homosexual person. just
hiding the matter that i am homosexual from the world is too difficult.
in every moment, in every path of life i have to suffer with the
abusing of others, suckling words, shamefulness and all. but on the
other hand little little moments i love to keep which gives me respects.
a life of dignity, one more chance to explore the world, one more
chance to live. hmmmmm at the same time its very difficult to share your
feelings to any one, to get a life partner. and if i got then again a
problem.... if anyone came to know about what will happen ? how would be
i able to stay in the society ? people would laugh at me....!!! why
society....?? its my life society will not live it . why they want to
kill my dreams ? why the society don't want to accept it ? society
society society........!!!!!! this is the matter.
so at last i
jst want to say that it is really very difficult to be homosexual.
there is a line in hindi " bhagvan ne jo b is duniya m bnaya hai soch
smjh kr hi bnaya hai " then why we are not accepting the creation of
god.
thank u all for reading.......
luv u we 4 u.........
- Roy Adi
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